I thought my biggest loss would be loud.
Like someone dying. Like losing money. Like heartbreak.
But the loss that’s following me around is quiet.
It’s the loss of the version of me that believed things would just... work out.
I lost her the year I graduated and nobody called me for a job.
I lost her the year I started Confetti and my first 10 customers were just my cousins and "please support me" people.
I lost her the day I realized that "soft life" is not soft when your account is breathing.
And the worst part? Nobody claps when you lose faith in yourself.
They only clap when you get it back.
I used to think I was behind.
That if I didn’t have X amount in my account or Y number of customers by now, I had lost.
So I started comparing. Started rushing. Started saying yes to things that made me tired just to feel like I was "moving".
I lost sleep. I lost joy. I lost the ability to sit still without feeling guilty.
But here’s the thing I’m learning, slowly:
Some losses are actually clearings.
Like when you pour out old perfume to make space for a new blend.
It smells like waste at first. But it’s the only way to make something better.
I lost the girl who needed everyone to clap for her.
I lost the need to look "put together" 24/7.
I lost the timeline I gave myself at 20.
And in exchange?
I’m finding a version of me that can sit with "I don’t know yet" and not panic.
A version that can sell 2 bottles in a week and still say "we go again tomorrow".
A version that knows a loss doesn’t make you a loser.
I’m not fully healed from it. Some days I still mourn that old me.
But I’m no longer letting the loss define me.
What about you?
What’s one loss you’ve had that didn’t look big on the outside, but changed you on the inside?
Let’s talk. I’m reading.
My image was generated with Ai
