Kids are indeed part of the family and deserve to know the family struggles, but then, the nature of the struggle and the age of the child must be taken into consideration.
I belong to the category of parents who don't hide family struggles from my kids, with exceptions anyway. Take, for instance, the time I had some marital challenges; I dared not make it known to my kids, no matter how much they sensed the whole situation and kept bombarding me with questions. However, there are instances I carry them along, and the result has been amazing so far, as young as they are.
These children we call kids today will grow up to become adults tomorrow. So what's the point of hiding important family struggles from them, especially financial struggles in the family? How will they learn resilient financial responsibilities, including empathy? I agree that it can be quite challenging to open up and tell kids about struggles at home. We wouldn't want them to feel bad or misunderstand the situation, but looking at it from other points of view... it makes sense to put them in the picture, as they can even be of help.
As little as my kids are, I already exposed them to money, budgeting, priorities, needs, wants, savings, financial challenges, and more... there's no need to hide anything because they should know and understand that life is in phases. It's not always so rosy all the time, and they should expect similar things in the future and learn how to adjust when issues surface...
I remember one time when my husband and I faced difficult financial situations. My son of 7 years made a suggestion that rolled out tears from my eyes... and I was glad they shared in our low moment and understood the situation. Their school was set for an end-of the term party with lots of activities piled up. My older sons were part of the people who were going to do presentations, act in dramas, sing songs, play the drums, and other things. They were really preparing so big for it and couldn't stop rehearsing at home. Before the day, hmmmm, we ran into financial troubles to the point that feeding was a struggle; meanwhile, I was yet to pay a bill of #30,000 for their end-of-the term party, 10k each for my 3 kids. I thought of what to do, because at that point the party fee is out of my priorities...not even in the 100th position. At the same time, I didn't want them to feel bad but find ways they can understand what's going on with us financially.
I had to call them for a brief meeting, explaining to them briefly the financial troubles that befell us...of course I didn't go into details because of their age. Surprisingly, my second son, who is 7 years old, said, "Mummy, we can stay back for the party and plan for next term; by then, you must have gotten money. Maybe, if you have little money, just take us out to the mall close to our home and get us small ice cream on the party day, and we will still be happy." My first son nodded in agreement and said a casual prayer for me. Wow, You needed to see how much relief I felt at that point; I couldn't hold the tears. I was surprised by their understanding and how they quickly adjusted to the pleasure they wanted to have.
The whole thing also teaches them contentment...they know when not to expect luxury and not try desiring other kids lifestyle. This wasn't the only experience I have had with my kids sharing my family struggles with them.
Overall, I feel that anything from age 7 and above is good enough to explain some family struggles in simpler terms with the kids. The aim is never to overburden them but to teach them the realities of life, which are inevitable.
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