Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- C.G. Jung
Today
It's all a matter of...
I used to have something similar to this as a part of my Facebook Bio but I deleted that account a few years ago because of the toxicity of mainstream social media.
I won't even bother sharing what the end of this oh-so-clever saying of words, words, words is today.
Even though it's entirely correct. Scientifically, that is. Which is not finitely "right" anyway
Today, however, I'd also say:
if a person wants to be fully present and at peace with themselves, despite anything that's happening around them, that this clever liddle motto should be rewritten as:
It's all a matter of Principles.
Until it isn't... to be continued because learning continues...
I say this, these days, because I discovered, during the bizarre events that unfolded in 2019, that it was by walking my principles in action... with ONE goal and focus - Freedom
that I fully recovered from so-called addiction and whatever mental "disorder" some less recovered human decided to label me with.
Always because of their own Shadow.
Even the only humans with very expensive certificates from very elite and expensive universities.
Part of The Accidental Theory: A journey to freedom
Read from the beginning >>
As a so tired of this shit I'm gonna bail and start knitting for realsies recovery guide, these days, one of the first exercises I give to a client...
is to write down their principles and values.
You'd be surprised at how difficult this is, for some people, to figure out.
Years of being told who, and what, they should be, I imagine.
You'd also be amazed at how quickly people "recover" when they define these, are given some relevant information, and are given the suggestion to walk their principles and values in action...
in every aspect of their experience of being human...
without exception!
Heads up: this sounds far simpler to do than it is.
Truth is my primary principle and value - in action as "Honesty" and I've gone as far as to say in a prior post or two that all the other principles really stem from these and if this is walked to the max...
the rest of my principles follow suit naturally. Or, conversely, are entirely dependent on it.
The latter probably more importantly, but one would have to test this in action to see, for themselves, if and why this is so.
my personal
Principles
Freedom; Truth; Love
Note: Love could be exchanged with Truth and Freedom because I consider "real" Love to be unconditional acceptance. And vice-versa after more experience because of practice.
In fact, the more simply one walks these kinds of Principles... the simpler things become.
My Values:
Honesty; Non-Judgement; Equality/Justice; Courage; Open-mindedness/Tolerance; Kindness; Respect; Humility (Truth again); Personal accountability
Note: Sometimes you need to talk to people in the manner in which they'll "hear" you. And, sometimes, people need to be shaken "awake". i.e. it is being kind to be fierce or firm when you are taking "right" action. It is not kind to allow people to hurt others or themselves. Or to hurt you. For their own personal growth as much as yours.
But how can we know what "right action" is if we are so fallibly only human? Well... we don't sometimes. We just walk our own principles and stay open to making mistakes, learning and refocusing with more understanding to walk them even better. And how do we know we are "right". We thrive and are at peace when we are "right". And "bad" stuff happens to make us stop and ponder when we are "wrong". Simple, huh?!
Dunno how it works. But it worked. For me. My life is, by all external judgement, pretty intense. Yet I'm cheerful and at ease with it. Pretty much always. These days. It's rather liberating.
I had a long conversation with a client about what the difference is if there is any...tbd between Principles and Values, by the way. And I mean the conversation extended over quite a few sessions.
Because I'm only human and what I share is always open to being corrected and changed as I learn. Of course.
And I've also always been somewhat confused about this, to be honest. I mean, they seem to be interchangeable.
Don't they?
What I've come to understand for myself and anyone interested in the stuff I share would have to put this into practice to come to their own understanding, again and again is that my principles are the things I am not willing to negotiate on.
These are my main focus and innate desire as The Who that "I am".
These are also "deal breakers" for me. Other humans may have a different focus and desire. Naturally.
But I want to live a peaceful and happy life in the way that resonates best with me, so that I can be at peace with myself.
And be happy and enjoy the only one life I have as the me that "I Am" despite the circumstances around me.
And since most of our experience of living is based on created by our own personal perception, and our perception of ourselves is created accordingly by rote...
I strongly believe putting these into action is the most important practice a person may want to focus on...
if they want to love and accept themselves unconditionally.
Despite being only human.
And, subsequently, to love and accept other only humans unconditionally as well.
Same thing - please see the concept of projection and denial in prior posts.
But what about values
I distinguish my values as the way in which I try to... because only human again and again walk my principles in action.
Seems simple, huh?
I do suggest you try it. And that you be kind to yourself And yes... your principles and values apply to everyone... including your beautiful self and try to keep your sense of humour if you do!
I did always try to walk my principles because I was raised by two strong, out-of-the-box-big-time individuals.
But I really only walked them when it suited me, if I'm to be honest.
We can all only do this as much as we are able to while we are still afraid of too much. Sometimes it's just too scarey to be who we are.
Yet!
Of course...
None of these incredible shifts in social structures and awareness would have been possible without a unified goal or focus of groups of individuals.
And, since we are only animals driven by instinct unless we are able to remain "conscious" at all times - highly unlikely according to all the great thinkers, it seems sweet, but extremely naive to declare any system or group will operate successfully as a "free for all", "Hey ho anything goes".
Again. I don't believe a human being can be "free" if they do not know themselves and the nature of man itself more fully.
But...
if a group or system has a defining goal or focus point, to avoid the very personal blow outs and not "right" actions of only human beings...
with common principles and values to guide and maintain why and how to progress towards that common goal...
well...
now you're talking about possibly restructuring some only human shit.
Maybe...
And what is, arguably, the biggest pitfall in our unity of spirit and purpose? Or even simply growing, learning and progressing?
Why, preconceived Judgement again.
Of course. always!
I had someone tell me recently that they'd "missed" so many great opportunities, you know.
No.
They couldn't see and, thus, make the best use of those great opportunities because they weren't able to see them clearly at the time.
Because they'd already unconsciously judged them as "not good" at the time.
The end.
Note: Hindsight = preconceived judgement eradicated by more experience. So why not simply fix that Now? 🤔
But I've been sharing on the principle of non-judgement for almost a year on Hive now.
Yep. I'll be a one year old Hiver on 30th June 2023. Time flies, huh?!
It's quite astounding how we can read, hear or see information and content but not fully grasp it until life experience affords us more understanding. Isn't it?
I've just recently heard some music from my younger days that, only with the experience of age, do I now more fully understand.
And, these days, I know this understanding will only deepen as and if I focus on that aspect of my seeking. Or curiosity.
But, back in my twenties, I honestly thought I was a non-judgemental person.
I was trying to be, anyway.
But I had little idea of who or what 😉 I really was.
Yet.
In fact... I was once dishonest enough, because of my own unconscious "beliefs", personal fears and subsequent denial, to enable some pretty malevolent people and systems. And to assist, at times, their destructive behaviour as well.
But I do tend to share a lot of information very quickly so, right now, I'll simply leave you with another true story.
About... you guessed it...
Because I take an action orientated approach to fixing shit that may be holding me back.
And the literally minute by minute, at times ongoing practice of non-judgement was instrumental in me being able to do the deeper work necessary to...
"Know Myself".
Because, eventually, I stopped judging myself as well.
And this leveled up my personal growth and progress immeasurably, as I began to dig deeper down the proverbial rabbit hole to do that oh-so-valuable for me and everyone around me "Shadow work".
Ultimately, "seeing" a lot of my own innate bias, prejudices and fear - and changing or simply knowing the less "acceptable" parts of my own "Self" - led to my being able to "see", "hear" and, thus, "think" more objective truth.
And to take better "right action".
Which, for me personally, is entirely focused these days on objective Truth alone.
I don't really trust my own brain quite so much after seeing more of how full of "me" it can be.
And I still believe we can shift things.
In fact, I'm old enough to know we can.
These days...
For Freedom.
Because my personal Freedom has always, as it turned out, been my primary desire.
And it was only when I made this my sole focus, that things began to shift in strange and interesting ways to "give" me what I'd always innately desired.
Sounds mystical and hey-shoo-wow. Innit?
It's actually not. Although one could take that perspective and, I suspect, would achieve the same results if a particular practice was worked authentically.
And, I'd add, that spirituality and science seem to be becoming more of each other and the same thing, these days.
So perhaps it's time we simply accepted that we all may have (parts of) valuable information to share.
And that we accepted we are all "right" and we are all "wrong" at different times, depending on our focus and underlying motivation.
We may even collaborate a bit better instead of allowing our opinions and philosophies to divide and be used against us with a more humble, tolerant and open-minded perspective.
Because, even if we demand our freedom as individuals, every individual experience is translated into a macro experience of "reality/truth" as we interact and engage socially.
One might even question if anything is "real" if we exist in isolation anyway. "If a tree falls" and all that...
"They" say that what we focous on increases. How "magical" or "miraculous" if those very clever Quantum Physicists are "right", huh?
Yeah... things can be really wonder-FULL when we are able to choose from the many possibilities stories around us. And who wouldn't want to progess from being responsible for a whole jungle and remember how to play again? Precious time. Totally worth staying "awake" to fully experience.
However, my perspective is influenced by a more Eastern approach and I will protect my hard won status of wanna be Dragon accordingly, thanks.
Although The Waterfall Legend has always felt more "real".
To me personally. From my experience and resultant perspective.
Which brings us back to knowing ourselves first again. No matter what books we read. Or haven't read. To be more accurate.
Complicated, isn't it? This "Truth" thing. Or even this Reality thing. Really.
So, in line with keeping things simple, I'd simply suggest non-judgement as a great first practice to begin with.
If you're keen to start seeing things with more clarity and living a more harmonious life.
And to not miss great opportunities.
Back When We Thought I Was Psychotic
One day, while I was working on a market stall back when I was around 29 years old, a customer walked in.
It was a woman, dressed in scruffy, dirty clothing. I'd go as far as to say she looked like a homeless person because she didn't have any shoes on and even her feet were dirty. Her roughly cut, shoulder length blonde hair was unkempt and unflattering on her unmade up face.
Since my parents had taught me to treat everybody equally, and with respect, I immediately stood up when she entered the stall to greet her and to ask if I could assist her. She looked a bit surprised but pointed out an item of clothing she was interested in. I took it off the rail, off its hanger and handed it to her to try on while I picked up a mirror so that she could see its fit.
I talk to everyone.
Everyone as equals.
I'll explain more why I do this, perhaps, when I share more of my story. If I ever do. But, that day, we began to chat while she tried on the shirt. She tried it on and said she'd take it. I turned to get a plastic bag, to fold the shirt and put it into and, as I did this, she pointed out another garment in my stall.
I took it off the rail and the hanger, handed it to her and picked up the mirror so that she could try it on as well. This went on for around 15 or 20 minutes while we chatted. And, at the end of our conversation, she said she would take everything she'd tried on.
By this time there was a small pile of clothing, on a nearby box, that she'd tried on. I turned, in some surprise though I didn't show it, and began to neatly fold the clothing she had chosen, to put into now three or four bags.
While I was doing this she stuck her hand into the front pocket of her dirty, torn jeans and pulled out a wad of R100 notes.
She counted R1,500 in cash from the wad of notes she'd had stuffed, unwalleted, inside her pocket and handed them to me without batting an eyelid.
Back then this was a fuck ton of a sale, btw. Yeah, I know I'm getting old.
And it rocks! #justsayin
Since then I've learned, even more clearly, that walking my principles results in synchronicity that borders on the "miraculous".
It's summink, I tell ya.
I've no idea how this part works.
But it works.
This is, again, an entirely true story.
The only thing, I know now, that stops people from believing me or seeing things clearly is their own Shadow.
And subsequent judgement.
Knowing this has given me the ability to forgive other only humans quickly and to not cause unintentional harm to others quite so much.
And to make far better decisions for myself as well.
But it was only when I began to turn towards the things that made me want to turn away...
that I began to become more mindful of my own Shadow.
To do this work successfully, however, I had to practice my principal of non-judgement for many, many years.
First.
Both towards others and, also, towards myself.
Choosing to not judge things as good or bad?
Imagine that kind of freedom?!
Imagine that kinda balance?
Don't forget to look up.
But, more importantly only in my only human experience again...
don't forget to look inwards ❤️
On a personal note
I'm keeping my fuzzy, comfy socks on today because it's cold outside.
Always and only with love.
On we go... 👣
*slinks back off to make art and roll on the grass in the sunshine because it's a beautiful day!
Happening slowly behind the scenes...
Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee
All images not sourced directly are my own. Original Aweh (meta Verse) illustration created with Photoshop. Original illustration used original source unknown. Gif created using Canva. Some photo editing done with GIMP.