I bet they thought we were losers.
Him and I.
Because we didn't make it. And because they laughed at us, I heard. And even called us names. But, these days, I think that winning is a matter of perspective.
I mean... success is a matter of perspective.
I don't think that winners make fun of people who lose, you see. Or who they think are losers. No. I think that people who are not winners, and who still choose to be graceful and kind, are the real winners in this life.
I think people who have priorities that fit with their souls, and not with the contents of their wallet, are the real winners in a consumer driven, materialistic world, these days.
I think people who walk outside of the winners' circle, even though they are laughed at and teased, are the true winners in this world.
I think you win when you find yourself alone because you prefer to stick with the actual winners.
I think the winners are the losers in many ways.
I wonder if they know what it feels like to be defeated and to be more than okay with it? I wonder if they know how incredible it is to lose.
Losers. And winners.
So then there were more than only two losers.
Thing is... the ones who never were supposed to be involved at all are the real losers at the end of the day. The kids, I mean.
And defeat. My defeat. Is this not when we gain the most, really? What loss is there then?
When the best things are learned by losing.
馃憜 This was in response to 19 February 2024, 
And, as I've come to add more and expand on... 馃憞
This prompt brought this poem to mind.
I found it, back in 2019, when I'd lost pretty much everything and was trying to find some kind of solace or even understand what the actual fuck had gone down. And how the actual fuck things had gone down in that particular way.
I felt like a total loser, you see.
Mostly because I was being treated like one.
I suspect that if I hadn't lost my financial "affluence" and connections that people's reactions would have been entirely different.
But... at the end of it all... I grew.
I grew in ways, by getting my ass kicked that badly, that I would never, ever in a million years have been able to achieve if I hadn't gotten my ass kicked quite so badly.
It was brutal. That's the only way I can describe it, really.
Terrifyingly brutal.
Yet I survived.
And not only did I survive...
I came out of it with a clarity of vision and understanding that was akin to being pulled out of the proverbial Matrix. I mean... I knew all of these values about consumerism and the material world and blah blah, yackity-yack philosophy for the lazy and elite.
Boy could I talk a good game.
But after this experience...
I knew. I could see it.
I understood.
And with this... the attachment, care for, concern for, yearning for, constant striving, striving, striving for...
whatever one or all of these it was that kept me on the treadmill, living the life I never would've dreamed on purpose, while I tried to get through the day...
evaporated.
Poof!
Gone.
It still sucked though.
I won't lie.
Yeah. We don't teach our kids how to lose. Or fail.
Yet this is (I'll say it again and again because it's a skill and a gift) inevitable when we try new things. Or experiences. Or learn. And inevitably grow.
How strange, isn't it?
A few months back I was watching one of the Star Wars with my son.
We go through periods of rewatching all of them. In order. Sequentially. A Star Wars binge, if you will.
And we bicker and argue about who said what, and where, and who did what and when. I must add... that when I lose an argument with my son, I am only proud af, really.
But the story, I wanted to share, was more about a scene in one of the movies. Let me see if I can dig it up.
Nope. Not that one. But I found it while I was searching.
Go figure.
Okay look.
I can't find the clip.
One of the main discussions... I mean arguments... is that all these new fangled Star Wars flicks aren't actually Star Wars, okay?
The younger human would disagree strongly, and dig the scene I want to show you up, but he's not around at the moment. So you'll have to trust me.
But there's a scene, in one of the later ones, where a someone arrives to enlist one of the Jedis. I suspect it's Obi-Wan but I remain wilfully ignorant about the new Star Wars flicks.
He doesn't wanna fight though. And a small rant ensues about the fact that the war is lost and whoever has come along to drum up support for the good guys should leave it and get lost too.
There's quite a bit of poor me and all that, to be sure. But as the character vehemently said, "We've lost!" I suddenly felt this immense feeling of...
well...
relief is the only way I can describe it.
That made me sit up a bit. I do tend to half watch the new ones with only one eye open to be honest. But it was at that very moment that, I believe, the final stage of the "letting go" of these last years began.
Out of the mouth of a character in a movie that I wasn't even that keen on.
"Yeah." I though to myself. "So I lost. What's the big deal?"
It was a worthy battle, I tell ya! 馃槅
Anyway. Those are my thoughts on losers for today.
All is not as it seems.
Mostly, in life.
But, sometimes, it takes a while for we humans to realise things. And to understand things fully. But if I've learned anything (and I've learned more than one thing but this is just for emphasis because it makes things more punchy) in this debacle...
it's patience.
Waiting is a skill, you know.
So I try not to think I know what's what. Or to get too caught up in judging winners from losers, these days.
Nah. It may have looked like we lost, to many, many people...
but we did all that up there.
I reckon we're both pretty successful, really.
I've taken to swimming down at the lagoon on the beach after work now. It's just too good to miss.
This place is incredible. Can't get enough of it on days like this.
Everything a Pippin could wish for, really...
And then I looked up from my book and...
Yeah...
life's full of surprises!
I wouldn't get too stuck on feeling like a loser.
Or too cocky about being a winner.
You never know what could happen next.
And, I think, that's pretty fuckin' exciting and cool. 馃挆
Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee
All images not directly sourced are mine.
All photo editing done with GIMP.
