I stepped off the path!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the quickening reality of how my life is changing despite 20 plus years of going against the grain of social norms in regards to making a living. I worked as a psychiatric mental heath tech for 7 years, and yes, that was full time with benefits […far from a typical job, of course, as I regularly got the shit beat out of me by patients]. Aside from that, though, it’s been a series of unusual, weird, odd hobby turned career moves. No retirement or 401K. In two decades, I can’t recall a time I’ve had more than $300 in my savings account. I ask myself, “….how did I get here?”.

Same as it ever was, indeed. What I mean is, my existence has always been contrary to the path my friends have taken. Breeding and selling tarantulas and snakes, for instance. A professional death match wrestler, being power bombed through glass, fire and barbed-wire. Even after that period, I was printing t-shirts for other death match wrestling promotions at completely illogical financial risk, committing to $1000 print orders, just to drive them to shows in Delaware with not a single guarantee I’d sell a single one!

There’s a line from one of my favorite movies, “The Way Of The Gun”. Ryan Phillippe’s character narrated., “…at some point it became clear that our path had been chosen for us and we had nothing to offer the world. Our options narrowing down to petty crime or minimum wage, so we stepped off the path and went looking for the fortune that we knew was looking for us.” I didn’t have to die in a Mexico shoot out for my fortune, but I’ve found it and it wasn’t on the “nine to five and full benefits” path.

I’m an old punk, which I know to be true because I’m almost 40 and my usual rotation is still Black Flag, Misfits, D.R.I., Bad Religion, and NOFX, which currently, is having more relevance on my life than it did than during my 20’s. I spent that time being a little shithead, drinking ketchup bottles at IHOP with @artfiend, paying for my Denny’s Grandslams by coercing friends like @donvee to pay me a few dollars to slam my head on a pile of thumbtacks […and the very booth we were sitting at in the restaurant], then having vomit contests in the parking lot. Obviously, the biggest pile wins […which was mine].

Lately, though, lyrics like “…once you stop yourself from caring, about owning stuff that when you want to start sharing, because all the things we want are cheap or free. I define success as not working.”, has really, really been resonating with me. “We’ve got no competition. We’ve got no accomplished mission.” My later, more mature interpretation of these songs has given me an unexpected change on perspective. 

I found Steemit, through @mada a year and half ago. Prior to that, I was a struggling freelance artist, aimlessly searching for the thing that would deliver me from feeling irresponsible in the face of my life choices. I’m now accepting that I wasn’t lost at all. I’m on the precipitous of beginning my life long career as a comic book artist […which I personally feel is the most punk rock job on earth], at a livable page rate because of Steemit, and all at almost 40 years old.

What’s the moral of the story? I don’t know. Fuck everyone else. If you're here on Steemit, now...you're most likely the same kind of person. Fuck those jobs you hate. When I look back on the last 37 years, my life has been pretty damn fun with a few commercial breaks of tragedy and consequences for reckless behavior. I walked off the path and I’m doing just fine. 

I post daily. For more thoughts on life, photography, art and comics, follow me @kommienezuspadt!