A friend in need is supposed to be someone who's there for you whenever you're at a low point in your life or going through tough times.
I didn't know the the phrase, "A friend in need" may have another meaning, until I met someone. We'll call her Martha.
Martha was this kind of friend, but not in the way you think.
You see, whenever I went through some bad times, Martha was there.
"Eketi how are you? How are you holding up?"
"Eketi don't worry, God is in control. He will see you through."
"Eketi stop fretting. I'm praying for you and you'll get what you desire."
"Eketi, I'm always here for you."
I revelled in having such a friend and even boasted to others about it.
However, after a while, I began to notice a disturbing pattern. Doubtful, I decided to put my suspicions to the test. And to my growing horror and sadness, my suspicions passed the tests with flying colours.
Martha was truly my friend IN NEED. What I mean is, she was always there whenever I had troubles. But when I came out of them and was on my way to progress, she did a sharp turnaround and became the voice of doubt and discouragement.
"Eketi, it's good you just got a job. But I don't think you should be working there; you deserve better. Don't take up the appointment."
"Eketi, yes you can write. But your work is mediocre at best. I know all those people on Facebook like your work, but I don't think they're the right people to judge your work. Don't ever think of taking this writing further."
"Oh dear! You entered for the singing competition? You're just okay sha...please don't go and shame yourself on national television."
"You got into law school? Oh. Finally. Congrats,i guess." (This is something I'd waited for, for three long years).
And so it went on and on. The sad fact was Martha was only happy when I was down and preferred me being a victim, invalid or a sad broken person, to a being a wholesome individual. That way, she could lord it over me, constantly compare herself and her successes against my failures and assure herself that she was doing better.
I did the only wise thing; without any warning, I cut her off. No apologies, no farewells, no explanations. I just did.
Oh, make no mistake, she fought hard to hang on and once in a while, I was tempted to let her. But those denigrating and discouraging words always convinced me that I deserved better.
Someone somewhere out there is in this same situation. I want you to know that it is okay to give such friends the boot! They do not deserve to be in your life and if you let them stay, their negativity will make you an underachiever with low self-esteem, constantly doubting yourself, paralyzed with fear and eventually, worthless.
So pull up yourself and fire this "Friend in Need."
