Blood doesn't mean shit. Let me say that again for the kids in the back - blood doesn't mean shit. What I mean by that is just because you are related to someone doesn't mean you have to love, talk, respect, anything for them. You don't have to do anything for them. You have every right to cut them off or ignore them if you want to. Without explanation. Now I'm not saying to cut off your family if they aren't doing anything wrong; no; I mean you can say goodbye to your toxic family just like you would your toxic friends. Don't feel obligated to keep them in your life if you are related to them.
Of course; if you want to forgive them and move forward you have that choice too. But sometimes it's impossible to do that with some people so you have to cut them off and you shouldn't feel bad if you have to. I know I have had to do that. I'm not going to point fingers, all I will say is this: you know who you are. You know that you made things hard for me at one point and my life is better off without you. You know that us talking or not literally doesn't affect either of our lives since we never talk either way. You know what else? This could apply for several of you and you may be so arrogant to not even realize that it's about you.
Why am I writing about this? Well, because those people who haven't been involved in my life for years think they have a say in what I write. You don't. They think they know my truth. They don't. Why? Because this is my truth. This is my perspective of my life. Which of course, you aren't going to know every minor detail of. You have your story and I have mine; like that one saying goes; there are two sides to every story. I haven't lied about anything I have written nor have I muted any emotions. I have told you all nothing but the honest truth because the way I see it - there isn't a point in lying. The truth always finds a way out. If you don't like what I have to say - simple - don't read.
Yes, family is important and you should love and cherish it, but if it's a heaping pile of garbage - throw it out. I feel like now a days people are finally starting to realize that family can be anyone that you hold close and love; and not just someone who shares your DNA. I think if you were to ask people now vs. then about if they talked to everyone in their family - the percentage who don't now who be larger. I think that because - now people are finally starting to realize they have the power to leave and move on and find something better if they truly want to. Which sadly may not have been an option for people early on.
But - is this new learned coping technique always good? Sometimes no. Why no? No because while we have learned to finally walk away from the bad, we may have also learned to walk away from the good that may just be temporarily bad. What I mean by that is, now that we have the power to walk away, we may think that walking away is the only solution. Instead of working it out - if that's possible - they may still choose to just walk out because it's easier. While I encourage you to do whatever your heart desires: think about things in the long run as well. Think about if you truly want to just leave or if working it out is what will make you happy. The beauty about todays day in age is that we truly have the power to pick and choose how we want our lives. So please - pick and choose wisely. We only get one. Or do we? (Ominous music plays.)
Now that that's off my chest: I'll change the subject to another thing the has been bothering me. Friends. While I talked about missing amazing friends in one of my last Blogs, now it's time to talk about the ones I don't miss so much. That's right - time to spill some tea hun. I'm not going to talk about any in particular, because I don't believe in just starting random drama, but I will talk about just in general what I personally hate about friendships now a days.
I hate that honesty comes second in friendships to being liked. What I mean by that is, instead of telling the honest truth - people will tell you what they think you want to hear. Which to me is more upsetting than the truth. Who are you if you can't stand by something you love, support, or believe in? I also hate that a simple disagreement can be the end of a friendship. I hate that if you aren't speaking or seeing each other every day that they move on and find someone who will. Mainly I just hate that it's so damn easy to lose friendships now - because maybe they weren't real to begin with.
So; as I mentioned you can cut off toxic family members. Well, you can cut off your toxic friends as well. Which I have been doing, and still am learning to do; slowly but surely. BUT - just because you have had a lot of bad friendships, relationships, whatever - that doesn't mean that they will always be that way. I know I have had amazing friendships which I will have again. It's just finding them is tough. It's like finding a pearl or a four leaf clover. Hard to find, and sometimes the search seems pointless - but once you get it - it's your special treasure that you worked hard for and earned. I know I still have some searching. Maybe you do too. So let's go hand in hand on this search because there is something out there worth finding and cherishing. I promise you. I promise myself. Because I believe that you can always find the treasure as long as you have a map.
Let me know if you find a map.
Kat Rae
