Where can you dance in California? San Frandisco.
[kidnapper hands wife phone] ""brent"" BABY IM COMIN *kidnapper takes back phone but she can hear me yelling* IS THE HAM IN THE FRIDGE EXPIRED
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!
Apparently, you can only say ""look at you! You got so big!"" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
Did you hear about the shooting with the starting pistol? It was race related