[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?
Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a millionaire... on average.
Have you heard the one about the grain farmer? It was corny.
I can remember my first day at school The teacher looked at me during register and asked, ""Are you chewing?"" I said, ""No, chewing is probably one of the foreign kids, my name is David.""
Why are so many Italians named Tony? Because when they left the old country, immigration officers put a sticker on their lapel that read To NY.