What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
Two Irishmen are looking for a job. They come across a sign, that reads, ""Tree Fellers"". Pat and Murphy look at each other and exclaim, ""If only Seamus was here, we would've had the job!""
[sitting on park bench] homeless guy: I'm so alone me: okay wow I'm right here
A good friend bails you out of jail, a best friend is sitting in the cell right next to you, a worst friend framed both of you for murder.
((speaking too close to the microphone at press conference)I have never watched a single episode of the Teletubbies. They look like fools