Why does Hillary Clinton want to be president? She also wants to get a blow job in the oval office
*brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut.
I was going to make a gay joke butt fuck it.
I'll never forget where I was when I found out I have Alzheimer's
Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown? Because he had no depth perception.