Kid: Daddy, where do babies come from? Dad: Storks deliver them Kid: but where do baby storms come from? Dad: ...Fuck.
If Jack helped you off the horse... ... would you help Jack off the horse? I tried.
turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :(
What is yellow, fluffy, and hides your slippers? A Labrador Deceiver.
Cop: Tell me again why you pulled out scissors and gave her bangs. Me: She was flirting with a hot dad that I had my eye on.