What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands? Having half a screaming child on your hands.
What was the buffalo's last words to his teenager as he sent him off to college? Bison
My family crest is just a photo of someone letting it go to voicemail.
My kid is singing ""Mac-n-cheese"" to the tune of ""Stand by Me."" You guys just tried it, didn't you?
You know it's a shitty day at the office when Everytime you walk into the bathroom all the stalls are taken