A long time ago, barely 13 years old, I was about to finish my first year of high school. I never thought that at that moment I would meet a boy who would give my life a turn at such a young age, I had found my place, I was already sure of who I am or at least what my tastes were. Sometimes I asked me:
This will be fine? Is it wrong to be gay?
My mind really went round and round, whenever I was alone my mind kept thinking if I was really doing the right thing. Over time those thoughts stopped why keep thinking about whether it is right or wrong if in the end it makes me happy? I was not going to give up what I am for what others think or what society dictates in which we live... woman with man? where he says that I must love and have a woman by my side to be happy or vice versa can not I fall in love with someone because of their being rather than their gender?
Little by little I left the prejudices that my mind always made, but always when I was going out with that boy, I kept feeling guilty for having to lie to my mother about the person I was going to leave or what I was going to do I did not feel good lying, lying to the person I love most in the world, to my mother. Momentarily before leaving by the door of the house, I always thought:
Do I really have to hide from my mother who I am??
The truth is that he always ended up telling me the same answer "Yes, I have to hide it from her, I will hurt her by telling him, it is not the time yet". But how wrong I was, I just wanted to postpone things more so as not to confront my family, the truth is that I felt they would not see me with the same eyes if I told them. but I did not realize the error I was dragging until the inevitable happened, my mother found out about that adventure I had with that boy for less than a year, she face me and I wonder if I was gay... I take by surprise, but it was time, I could not continue to deceive and I affirmed with a slight movement of the head while my eyes were watery.
My mother started crying as she told me again and again that I was wrong. I felt that I had disappointed her, I felt miserable and sad, I could not stand to hear so many things my mother said, it was hurtful. As I could I went to my grandmother's house, with tears running down my face, I quickly went into the house to my room.
On the way my aunt and my grandmother realize, worried enter my room and begin to ask me what is wrong with me, I did not want to respond, I did not want to make things worse and I kept quiet, however my aunt breaks my silence and her asks me in a soft and serene voice:
Luis What's wrong, are you gay?
Overwhelmed by everything that had happened with my mother, I decided to finish with all that weight that was on top and I said yes, that my mother already knew and had not taken it at all well... to my surprise they They understood and supported me, they said they would always be there for me. I never thought I would receive so much support from them, my spirits began to change, I no longer felt so alone, but I still needed the approval of that woman who gave me life.
The next day my mother comes to look for me at my grandmother's house. My mother enrolled me in psychologists and counselors, I really saw it as unnecessary, but I wanted to please her, I felt it was a good way to help her understand what was happening. The days went by and things got worse, I did not feel the love that my mother offered me, I know she never stopped loving me, but she felt confused, this was not easy for her.
At the end of the sessions, the psychologist and the counselors decided to tell my mother that I was not going to change and that I would continue to be like that, but not to worry that there was nothing wrong with me. To tell the truth I never expected them to go and tell my mother that, except in my country where they look at homosexuality with suspicion, but it was like that.
That joy I felt when those people spoke with my mother did not last long, my mother became aggressive, my family could not tolerate those actions that my mother was taking towards me and decided to take her away from the family, my mother lost all contact with us because of three months, I felt frustrated because I wanted her by my side.
After about three months my mother calls me and asks me if I wanted to go for a walk around the city with her for a while, it took me a lot, we had not talked for three months, but I agreed, I really wanted to see her and I felt excited. When I got home, I went out and got into the car, immediately she hugged me. My mother started driving, we did not have a destination to go to, we were just going through the city, when suddenly my mother told me:
-Luis, I hope you forgive me for everything. You will always be my son, are you the light of my eyes and I only want your happiness. If you are happy, so am I..
Those words made my whole life happy! My mother accepted me, after that my life became incredible, the confidence of being able to tell everything that happened me to my mother, without fear of something, she became my best friend.
With this, I want you to know that God does not put challenges that we can not solve and if we can not, He will put the right people on our path so that it will be easier for us overcome them. Do not rush, the moment will come, it only depends on you if you take advantage of it or let it go. You have to bear in mind that sometimes opportunities are given only once in a lifetime and having confidence and honesty in every way with your family is phenomenal! Only you will know when that opportunity is, but always keep in mind that no matter how difficult the problem with your family becomes, you will always be part of them, they just need time to understand.
