I have just turned a quarter of a century old.
And I decided that in order to stave off any imminent quarter-life crisis, it would be the perfect time to set a vision for myself.
Not in the sense of five- or ten-year plans, with a million dollars and a fully paid for apartment, but a set of enduring principles. Principles that will last for a lifetime, despite whatever circumstances I find myself in.
How I want to feel, how I want to be.
It’s the birthday wish I wordlessly utter in my heart before I blow out all seven candles on my favourite Oreo cheesecake.
‘A’ birthday wish.
From tomorrow onwards, I will be a new person, a new Joey. I will be:
Each breath that I take when I wake up til when I fall asleep is a miracle. A miracle because I am but a breath, a vapour in the wind — and if I cease breathing, I will cease to live.
I will jump out of bed, seeing every day as an adventure to be lived. New things to see, new things to do, new things to experience. New challenges to face, which also means new victories to be had.
Even when I am going about the daily and weekly routines of work-home-church-rest, it is not dull at all.
For no two days are ever alike.
And fearlessly so.
Too many a times in the past have I been held back by fear. Fear of how people will condemn me in the courtroom of their minds. Fear of people around me whispering scathing comments behind my back, and to my face.
I will be fearlessly authentic. I will not shy away from being myself just because so-and-so will have something to say. ‘To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing’ (Elbert Hubbard).
But I will do what I’m led to do, say what’s given to me to say and be who my Creator wants me to be.
Unshackled by the yoke of external approval or validation, I will be free.
The twin of authenticity. I will wholly accept myself — everything I like and everything I dislike. I will own it all.
Like, my highly sensitive and introverted nature. My 5'2" height. My need of many more hours of solitude than the average person. My love for sleeping a lot, the way a cat does.
As a result of this entire self-acceptance, I will fully show up in my life.
For I am enough. More than enough.
Now, right now, I will appreciate all that I have til my heart’s ripped open from gratitude.
Right now, I have a roof over my head and a room to myself draped in pink and decorated with preserved roses in glass dome jars. I have a laptop, which I am using right now, and my phone and iPad close beside. I have books, lots of books to satiate the inner bookworm.
Right now, my stomach is full from the most delicious homecooked food my mother lovingly prepared. And I just got to kiss her goodnight.
What more can I desire?
I will rewrite the flawed equation that abundance = money. I seek not money (what is money anyway?) but wealth. True wealth. In a material, relational and spiritual sense.
I will be full of bliss in the present moment, asking “What more can I desire?” But then, more is given. And the heart already filled to the brim with joy and gratitude overflows. My cup runs over. So do my songs of praise.
I will give, for it is more blessed to give than to receive.
I will give, for it is a continuous abundant flow of receiving and giving, receiving and giving.
I will be in the flow, letting the currents of Providence bring me all the way til I reach the heavenly shores of the New Jerusalem.
Flow will be present in all aspects of my life. The hardest work, labour and exertion will not be a struggle because they are a source of joy to my being.
Even when my eyes tire from staring at the screen too much or I am out of breath from running, I know that all these actions are inspired — done to the glory of God.
I will not resist God’s Will or inveigh against my lot in life. Such struggle is pointless and wearisome, thus I will simply allow His Will to be fulfilled in His time.
Que será, será. Whatever will be, will be.
In God I live, breathe and have my being.
I will grow closer and closer to Him everyday, in this unbreakable covenant relationship of everlasting love. I will love Him with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind and all my strength.
I will be adventurously alive, authentic, accepting of self, abundant, allowing, abiding in God.
Always.
Photo from Unsplash
