This photo is mine.鈽猴笍
I don't know what came over me but it seems to happen in a flash. How fast things changes, eh?
Here's the story.
There's a group chat of hivers and I was there. They welcomed me warmly when I was posting the intro post. As a newbie, I was clueless to everything and I have lots of questions; they're kind of keep saying "just keep posting".
And so, after some time, I sent the link of my post to group chat but since maybe almost all members muted notification, I was just tired of waiting. I know, impatience ain't a virtue. I'm sorry.
This is how I handle stuff especially relationship and friendship; if you're not helpful to me, so much more a toxic one and maybe kind of for display/trophy, I'll simply have to let you go.
I did ask permission if I could leave and if it won't hurt; she said yes, it's okay and I should keep going. I thought that was it.
After I left, wow, I was branded ungrateful and pretty shameless.
The person who made the group chat turned out to be someone who made my account. I never knew so I was so shaken. How could I do that, I was so washed with self-pity and just shame; and so, I did apologize, over and over again.
It wasn't my intention to hurt and I did ask nicely and she responded well;(please folks, just be honest.) Superficial replies and being goody-goody but you're angry, uh oh, please, not to me. I can't take it.
I CRIED. HARD.
I may sound strong and strict but I'm so softhearted. I wasn't like this initially but over time, I learned to soften for others.
I wasn't able to get over it like I didn't care for I really cared.
Sad thing is, it was understandable for other people to do it since they don't know me, but my relative, for real; she just branded me as someone who is very shameless.
I was supposed to suck it in.
For quite some time, and if you have read my pre-birthday drama(here), my chest was so heavy; my mind's a mess and I'm literally on edge.
So yeah, when they did it, my crying hard helped. SO MUCH! I felt light on my feet and well,got my eyes cleaned up.
I even told my Mom. Haha
As these things unfolding, this Gentleman's League variety show I'm watching was kind of got a timely mantra for me.
"OVERCOME IT!"
My Coach did caught me in the middle of giving up the account, just letting it go altogether. I posted a "downplay", making it a trash and yeah, he reminded me of how 
Back to Gentleman's League, the rare mistake was made and the goalkeeper was dismissed. It became 10 vs 11 players and they had overcome it. Their Coach Lee keep saying "overcome it" and Manager Ahn kept saying, it's great to experience it already. Guess what? It ended in tie score. Yehey!!
Indeed, all I need to do too, is overcome it. I was well aware though that it was my ego that wasn't just bruised, it was literally smashed by them and who am I to think so much of ego, Lol.
I found myself so helpless and hopeless when I was just trying to cut off and let go of a group that I'm so bitter of. I needed to overcome,again and again, rise above such feeling of being misunderstood.
I did ask for forgiveness so many times and yet, she had unfollowed me already here in hive. She didn't respond to any of my messages on Facebook messenger, in text and video message.
Well, what more can I do, right? (This is one of tough moment for a Christian, to be selfless and denying oneself.)
Since she made my account, not that she had written any of my article, just literally made me the account; I got this resolve that she'll forever have the 3% of my payout as it always has been. I'm going to work on this some more and give her what I owed.
Yeah, I'm doing this out of guilt and I really care for her and it's no secret.馃槉
So, am I okay now?
Not yet,not really but it's tolerable now. I'm highly emotional plus I think so much, so a deadly combo. Haha
I may be oversharing Lol and so, I might shift to fiction writing after this, well except if there will be birth of my cats or pigs. Haha
See ya around.
