Not everyone is ready for this conversation...

It is easier to block, disappear, ghosting than to learn how to repair. There is no genuine reparation if the person cannot clearly recognize what he did. That is not awareness; it is a need to close the subject without taking charge.

The fear of appearing insensitive can lead to hiding how we feel so as not to offend. At this moment we have built an aesthetic where there seems to be only room for pain.

But pain alone does not heal, pain alone does not help. Just because you seem moved doesn't mean you're helping. How can we grow up and not stay in the superficiality of the moment? This question has been giving me a lot of thoughts, and I think it's key to tend that on this path it's time to help, respect but not pretend.

Anyone who wants to laugh or celebrate good things that happen to him is not attacking those who had to suffer. There are ways to express it, there is a way to be respectful. But beyond appearances, the underlying issue is, if this matters to me, am I helping?

Because if you are helping you will need strength to do it for a long time, and if not... then, you have two options: either you help or you continue with your life without pretending something, just to avoid people's disapproval.

Living requires being willing to face adversity.

A flower never comes close to a butterfly. I gave that metaphor to a friend who asked me about what things I had to improve to get a partner. She told me that her relationships have not lasted anything at all, I mean nothing, it will be then, that I must change...It's really hard for me and I wouldn't want to be left alone either. This is nothing more than understanding that you don't have to change who you are to be a subject of love. The one who loves you, loves you just the way you are, friend, I told her... Because when someone falls in love with you, they do it for who you are, without doing drama or theater, do you know why?

Because in the end the theater ends, our truth remains and the other person can fall out of love and even one can get tired of pretending so much. In short, one must be oneself and this implies accepting oneself with our lights and shadows as one is establishing oneself from the reality of our personality
I don't agree with the people who talk about that they have to transform their personality one they have to change deeply things in their pampering to be loved, because one thing is the negotiation within the couple and the agreements that have to be made and another very different thing is to change so that they love us, that seems to me, a form of humiliation and so on...

Just because someone has feelings for you doesn't mean they can sustain a bond. There may be affection, desire or interest, but that does not guarantee to build something. Feeling is often confused with staying.

But a bond requires decision, presence, commitment and continue choosing yourself.

What a privilege it is to choose well who enters and who does not, in my life, in my mind and in my heart. There is so much love in retaining the ability to be moved because of the other person's existence. For that there must always be honesty, loyalty and fidelity.

Janitze.🌷❣️