Little-Known "Facts"

There are a lot of strange coincidences in the assassinations of presidents Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy. Not only was Abraham Lincoln shot in Ford Theater, and JFK shot while riding in a Ford-produced Lincoln convertible, but Abraham Lincoln's famous stovepipe hats were made by the Bostonian milliner Warren Kennedy.

Lemmings do not suicidally leap into the sea. They are actually just semi-aquatic creatures like otters, beavers, and muskrats.

The earliest known libraries were collections of scrolls and clay tablets at the temples of the ancient Greek god Eros, all detailing various sexual acts that were acceptable practices for theurgy to invoke his blessings.

The invention of Spandex was the accidental result of experiments to produce synthetic spider silk so DuPont could make stronger ropes for the US Navy.

Runoff from farms using chemical fertilizers and GMO crops have caused minnows in the Mississippi River basin to develop sharper teeth and aggressive carnivorous habits. Without more oversight from government agencies, we could see this develop into a new species of American mini-piranhas by 2019.

Cleopatra did not in fact commit suicide by letting a snake bite her. That is a fabrication from Shakespeare. In Egypt, a popular contraceptive was the tail of an asp used as a condom, freshly harvested so to speak, and Cleopatra was actually bitten by accident while making preparations for an amorous encounter.

The "centimeter" was originally devised in France in 1752 as the perfect thickness for a slice of bread used to make toast. It is derived from "centi," a provincial term for toasted black bread, and "m'etrois," or "measure." The Metric system was devised later from this foundational unit. A proper loaf of French Bread is long enough to cut into 100 slices of toast, thus establishing the "meter" and taking advantage of the similarity of the bread slice and the prefix for 1/100 of a meter to make it appear as though the meter were the true base unit.

Caffeine is actually a byproduct of the petroleum industry. In 1858, Dr. Johannes Cola was studying the unused hydrocarbons from early oil refining, and accidentally spilled some into his tea. He found himself unable to sleep for a week, and proceeded to perfect the proper dosage for productivity enhancement with unwitting assistance from his research team. Tragically, he died of a heart attack within the year due to the consequences of several major overdoses. Coca-Cola was later named for the cocaine extract that was one of the original ingredients, and as a tribute to Dr. Cola's discovery of synthetic caffeine.

Radiation from the Fukushima nuclear plant has caused some clownfish off Japan's northern coasts to mutate to a green and black pattern instead of the usual orange and white.

If you fell for any of these outright lies, or know someone who might, feel free to share them via social media to troll the gullible. It is your solemn duty as a resident of the internet per Section VI, Article 3, subsection B of the US Internet Code.