I'm a big fan of food. Because of this, I have had a very turbulent relationship with food. It has been my friend, my foe, my anchor, my concrete block, my wings, and at times, the only aspect of my life I had any control over.
When I hit 210 pounds a few years ago, as depressed and dettached as I was, one photograph made me take a step back and re evaluate what I was putting into my body and why.
It wasn't a horrible picture, I was happy in it...dancing with my Tio Luís, who always knew how to get a smile out of me. But I did not recognize who I saw. My face was on this body that wasn't mine...this body I barely recognized.
Maybe it was vanity.
Maybe it was my brain sending me loud and clear signals about my perilous health.
I don't know, but it was enough to WANT to do something...not just do something.
That want instead of just doing is what led me from being sick to being healthier, being better.
I went from 210 lbs to 150 lbs in less that 8 months, and I did not starve myself. I did not work out every waking moment I had, though I definitely should've worked out more lol :)
All I did was try to eat raw vegan as much as possible, and eat cooked vegan and vegetarian meals occasionally. I ate a giant fruit salad for breakfast, a giant salad for lunch and a giant salad for dinner.
The pounds melted off.
My hair turned from lifeless and dull to voluminous, bright and beautiful.
My skin transformed itself.
I even naturally smelled better.
Though I did not adopt this diet exclusively or permanently (I eat mostly vegan food, and seafood) I learned enough to have been changed at the core.
My relationship with food and eating changed drastically. Food became a tool and a weapon instead of a cuddling comfort.
It became something I could weild to make me better, not just make me feel better. I learned to control myself instead of trying to control external elements.
6 years later:
I've fluctuated in weight. I went from 150 lbs to 190lbs. I've been consuming alcoholic beverages more than I should...and for various reasons, got lazy with self care.
I've been slowly working my way back to healthier habits. My weight is at 170lbs, clothes that didn't fit 2 years ago fit again, and I am becoming more aware of when I drink and why and making a concious effort to curb that as much as possible, and ultimately completely.
I've focused solely on food and drink in this piece because although working out is crucial to both mental and physical health, I believe it is more important to examine the relationship with what we put in our mouths with the why.
When a person changes how they view food and drink in general, how and what they eat will surely follow. When a person has that moment of clarity that I had, they have no choice but to look hard at their choices.
This helped me emotionally as well. I felt more in control. I felt better about myself because I was treating myself better.
Same applies for today. Its easier now, though. The hard part is coming home tired from work to clean and cook and clean again but I intrinsically know that if I don't do this, other, possibly unhealthy patterns will have the room to thrive.
The good news? I dont have to cook a complicated meal to eat something amazing. Though I love doing that as well and plan on it later on ;)
I can make a sandwich (I love eating them and making them) that is as yummy and filling as a plated meal.
This is last night's creation:
-toasted italian bread with earth balance original spread followed by red pepper hummus
-sliced half of an avocado
-sliced red onion
-curried tofu topped with bbq sauce
-the rest of the avocado on the plate with salt and pepper
The tofu used is extra firm, fried in olive oil in rectangle sections, dipped in this amazing curry mixed with a bit of agar:
Best curry I've tasted and will be getting used a lot :)
I had so much fun coming up with this sandwhich and making it.
Food...good food, doesn't have to be complicated.
Neither does being healthy. I just had to care enough to commit ;)
pLe0aVc3e,
Jessica
∞