My heart melted when I saw it in her eyes how much she missed me. I could tell a lot is written in her heart that needs to be read out but then she withheld it and instead of expressing them with words she chose to use tears.
I was already pleading with her not to release those tears because they meant a lot to me. I couldn't stand them rolling even though it's a video call.
I could still feel the impact just as if she was sitting right in front of me.
Dorcas is a girl I have once loved, but circumstances brought us into different parts, communication became bad between us as she was seeing as her past already, we actually planned on spending our lives together as one but as earlier mentioned reasons made that not to happen.
I have always dreamt of having and living the best life with my wife but then at the point when Dorcas wanted it to happen I was not yet ready because I could feel within me that I am not yet fit and capable of handling such an institution called marriage.
The reason is simple and that's because I don't want for any reason to go to anyone asking for assistance as in regards to my welfare and that of my family but Dorcas was not seeing it that way with me instead she pressured us to go into it like that.
I am a man and I know what men go through when it turns out to be tough and rough, I wouldn't want to have a taste of that life, I have seen a little from my father it wasn't easy on the whole family and on that note I promised to make sure things are stable before I embark on such a forever journey.
When Dorcas insisted. I gave a free hand.
“Please, I have made my intention clear to you but if you feel time is no longer on your side you can do well to get someone who is ready and marry him".
Just as if she was waiting for such to come forth without hesitation she left and never returned, I had no grudge against her, I have never wished her bad I even try reaching her via all means of communication but she wouldn't respond to any of my messages until information got to me that she finally got someone that she is hoping to get married to. I sent a congratulatory message and that was the only message she responded after a while with just a word " Thanks”.
So I focused on making life a bit better. I even chose not to go into any serious relationships because I wouldn't want what happened between Dorcas and I to repeat itself until I am sure I am ready.
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months turned into a year. I could not help but cry when she finally said “ Sam, miss you" . What could I have done? It was a moment of memory recollection. I have missed her for sure but my heart is no longer with her. I shed tears because I really want her to be happy and I was hoping she gets that happiness from the guy that promised to marry her.
" Please can we come back to our normal Love?” That question struck my heart but my heart is far from her, the moment she decided to leave at that same moment my heart stopped thinking about her.
The pity I had for her would have lured me into loving her but that would have been filled with emptiness as it will be an act of pretense and that will not be good in the future.
And my mum has warned that for no reason should I ever marry anyone out of pity. I can't tell what the end result will be but I know for sure that my mum must have seen how it played out somewhere.
How do I make this happen without having to hurt her feelings again? I hope I will not be tagged a bad person when I make it clear to her how impossible this will be between us. I don't like it when people's feelings are hurt most especially when it is coming from me.
I can't dispute the fact that she is a nice girl and I know for sure that any man that gets to settle down with her will never regret it.
Image Source Gemini Ai
So I said to her “Let's start all over again from being friends and perhaps we could get recandling and so we became best of friends with no strings attached for now.
