The being is trying to be the most evil SoB in the entire Deregger polity. Problem is, they're so damn incompetent, they keep making things BETTER for their people, not worse! So how in the hell are they turning such huge profits?? -- Fighting Fit
Howlon Farmaul had inherited quite the region. Owning shareholder claim of a solar system within the Greater Pecuniary Empire of Fiduciary Expansion. Better known amongst those evil Alliance scum as Greater Deregulation Upper Northeast. The news filtered in from the rest of the universe that the Deregger way of doing things was more evil than they were.
It had to be quite the evil thing to be more evil than those evil social benefiteers. Nobody ever got anywhere by benefiting society. One had to create jobs. That way, everyone with a decent work ethic could pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
"Evil," said Howlon. "They think I'm evil now. Just wait and see, I can be the worst CEO in the known universe. Right Wolf?"
Wolf was his secretary, aide-de-camp, Number Two, right-hand-man and quite a lot of other things. But the title that amused Howlon the most was "dogsbody". Howlon liked the idea of having a Dogsbody by the name of Wolf.
"Right," said Wolf. "How do you plan to be so evil, sir?"
"We all know that having the workers grow foodstuffs will only lead to lassitude and starvation. What could be worse than engineering another potato famine? Only mix things up. What's the most nutritious crop that can be farmed with ease?"
"That might be troublesome, given that many of your -ah- expendable resources live in apartments, sir. Roof gardens and balcony gardens would only work for those who have roofs and balconies. The remainder only have three cubic feet for crop space."
"Well what can grow in three cubic feet?"
"Oh many things sir," said Wolf. In retrospect, the reply was a little too fast. "Dwarf grain corn, peanuts, sweet potato. I hear Tukkatukka will grow anywhere. So will tomatoes and zucchinis. Collard greens, of course. Cabbage, Kale, scallions, winter squash, wheatgrass, soy, lettuce..."
"That's too much. Give me the top three."
"Oh. Tukkatukka, tomatoes, and Temptation - that's a specific breed of dwarf grain corn that's particularly hardy and abundant."
"Too many T's," grumped Howlon. "I want something that grows underground, overground, and something that climbs. And none of that Tukkatukka. I don't want anything Galactic that was made by the wrong sort of people."
Translated, he didn't want anything bio-engineered by the traditional peoples of Australia, now of N'Oz. They were "the wrong sort" three ways - they weren't originally from the United States, they were not the Deregger preferred shade of pale, and they were often smarter than he was. Wolf did some calculations and said "Peanuts, zucchini and many varieties of peas or beans, sir."
"Beans. Yes. Let them eat beans. See to it." That was the joy of being a CEO. You could say, see to it, and the Dogsbody would do everything else.
Later records would show that Howlon had no idea that Wolf was a Galactic Infiltrator on the payroll of the Cogniscent Rights Committee. Not when his -ahem- 'expendable resources' became strong and healthy on their home-grown food. Not when other 'evil' suggestions from Wolf caused more leisure time -and spending capability- of those selfsame people. Not even when the inevitable revolution overthrew all the other CEOs.
Because the people in other parts of Greater Deregulation Upper Northeast had seen what Wolf's indentured employees had and wanted the same. They knew that in order to get anything, they had to fight for it.
So they did.
Howlon was very shocked to find himself taking over the rest of the polity. Controlling sector by controlling sector. Even more shocked to find the Alliance dealing with him as if he were an equal.
But... he was supposed to be evil.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Claudine]
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