The Havenworlder-safe confectionary competition! Complete with legumes that taste just like peanuts but are not, in fact, peanuts, and havenworlder-safe chocolate! -- BKF
[AN: Was prompted in relation to yesterday's story, but has wound up being in relation to Pistil-Packing Researcher ]
There are many Humans who are psychologically incapable of keeping a treat for themselves. They find joy in sharing. And it is a regrettable fact that some things are just too dangerous for Havenworlders to enjoy. Which, once Humanity realised that, viewed it as a challenge.
Some went into chemistry. Some looked at ways to improve the existing substitutes. Some went into laborious cross-breeding to create a better substitute. Some examined existing Havenworlder foodstuffs.
There was a lot of mixing, blending tasting, and testing. All for one week out of the Galactic Standard Year. The Havenworlder-safe Tasty Fakes Contest.
The outer rings of the contest were a festival of Havenworlder-safe foods and experiences. The inner rings were the experiments. Half science fair, half farmers' market, each booth held the team working on the entry. Who had made a display and had samples for Havenworlders to try. The display was informative Science-For-Easy-Reading or, as it was better known amongst educators, Lies For Non-Academics.
They're not complete lies. It's just that total accuracy takes up to fifty pages of complicated terminology. Nobody wandering through a festival of food is going to read the entire scientific paper whilst waiting for -say- a Havenworlder-safe canoli.
The biggest draw in all of it is -what else- the chocolate mimicry. Legends have been told about Humanity's favourite poison, and its effect on Human neurochemistry. The Havenworlders queue for each sample, or take a number if the queues are long enough, fully willing to wait all day to try some.
Every single one of them obtained a double sample to see what their favourite Human thinks of it.
"What's this one?" asked Human Zor, still working on some food-onna-stick.
"They call it 'poppycock'. Popcorn and caramel, yes, but the nuts are Havenworlder-safe alternatives to peanuts and tree nuts." Glif handed over a fair share.
Watching Human Zor was the best part. There were no middle expressions. It was either utter delight or abject revulsion. Either way, it was hilarious to watch.
Zor's face above the nose scrunched up as hir mouth widened. Hir tongue flashed outwards, dropping fragments of hir mouthful to the floor. Where a nearby Cleaner slug eagerly absorbed it. "Bleh! You're all right, sluggo. You don't have taste buds." Ze dropped the rest of the concoction where the giant slug was facing. "That is nothing like poppycock. Gross. What next?"
Typical Human. Gluttons for punishment, or eager adventurers. It was hard to tell.
[Photo by Tamanna Rumee on Unsplash]
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