Someone once told me that everyone will experience getting their heart broken by someone they love at some point in their lives, but I didn’t fully agree with them then. The older I get, the more I understand why they said that. Usually, I’m the one who gets people’s hearts broken because I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone until I was sure I’m ready to settle down. But as time went by, I had no choice but to make a little compromise to that agreement I had with myself. I guess that was just life pushing me to experience heartbreak in its real form to truly understand how it feels.
Now, I have different things to say about being in a relationship, and it is one of my favorite things to talk about now. Why? Because I have more experience than I did before. I still have a lot to learn, and that’s one reason why I actually enjoy talking about it so I get more insight from people. One thing I have learned so far is that loving or being in a relationship isn’t easy. As most people say, love is not enough (I still don’t agree though), but it is okay to say that.
Most people go into relationships because they love something about their partners or benefit something from them, which is good. But hey, that’s not what defines a good relationship. A good relationship is known when it is tested. It is easier to love when everything is good—no storms or hurdles, just smooth sailing. The moment challenges come, doubts creep in, insecurities heighten, money disappears without explanation, and so much more—that’s when we know what a good relationship is and whether or not we made the right choice of who to do life with.
Back then, people always reminded me that I never know what I have until I lose it, and I’ll just scoff at it. But now, I agree because I know what much I can offer, and whoever doesn’t want me in their lives is the one losing something. I will lose too, but not as much as they will lose. I can say that because I have accepted the fact that I’m a work in progress, and I shouldn’t be judging myself by where I am now but where I’ll be when this work is done. There are people who see me and they even help me to get to that place, while some find it hard to stay with me through this hard time, and that’s completely fine. They are even helping me want to get to the end and become who I should be.
Being in a relationship takes so much that so many people can’t afford. Even now, it’s worse because we all are beginning to accept the notion that once it gets hard, just walk away. You can’t change a person—they will change if they want to be with you, especially if you genuinely love them. So if they keep doing the things that hurt you, focus more on how they are trying to do better. If not, they don’t love you as they claim. Even our parents hurt us, not to talk about strangers who turn lovers. But then, make sure they are choosing you and forgiving you the way you are choosing and forgiving them. If not, they are just going to push you to find someone better in the end. Just make sure you love them genuinely—not because, but despite.
Love them despite what they are and stand with them to become the best they should be. It’s not easy for anyone to let go of old habits; some people are lucky, but majority aren’t. If you love someone and want to be with them, be ready to love them despite their flaws, or else you will be walking out of that relationship as quickly as it starts. There will always be challenges in every relationship. Just choose the person that is willing to fight for you the way you will fight for them. You can’t fight alone all the time—it gets overwhelming.
Relationships are beautiful when the two people are ready to fight their problems and not themselves. Most of the time, we ignore the problem in the room and focus on ourselves because we’d rather let our pride and ego win than fix the problem.
Well, that’s a lot of talking on relationships. I hope you learned a thing or two!
Thank you for reading through. 💜
