It's ironic how tables turn right? . Writing this, I feel a little bit nostalgic. And I promise you I have laughed at myself everytime i remember this.. but Hey, I was a Teenager. You can't really blame me.
During my teenage years, I used to pride myself as being extremely mean towards girls, especially because I thought I had too much of them around me. I never cared about how anyone felt. I mean, WHY WOULD I? I was just in my prime.
Everyone around my vicinity knew me as this calm, cool headed guy that every girl had a crush on. But one stood out amongst all… She was always smiling and waving when every I walked by, and if I was talking to another girl, she frowned. I noticed all this, but “who cares?” so I always said.. it became so bad that everyone around knew she had a crush on me , Even her mom!! But it still didnt matter to me.
One day, her younger bro came to me with her diary.. His motive?, I didn't know. He just handed it over to me and said “Is this not too much” I opened the diary, Anxious to know what he was talking about, i flipped open the first page then the second, then the third. I continued flipping page after page and all i kept seeing were love notes addressed to me. On some pages my names were written boldly, i because pissed. Not because i felt she did something wrong. But with all the attention i was getting, i preferred hanging with ladies older than me but she was about 3 years younger. In my mind i said "Shouldn't she be focused on school, with all this energy and writing skill".
Now, this is where is starts to get interesting.
I felt she shouldn't be thinking about any man, not just me. I felt she needed to focus more on her studies, lol in my mind i was playing Big brother. So i decided to Teach her that being in a relationship at such age was not so good because of all the pain it comes with.. Yes, before you judge me, i have done that already.
The plan was quite simple. Be my usual charming self, make her fall for me and then let her hurt a bit so she knows she's not supposed to really be thinking about a man at that stage.... Wow, even i cant believe i thought about this..
So... just as i planned, I told her i needed to talk to her. Being who i was, she came happily and i asked her if she wanted to explore a relationship. She was excited and said "YES" and then i proceeded to laying some rules, "You have to Stop walking around like a little girl", "you shouldn't associate yourself with the other girls" and alot of other rules i set because, ofcos i was a big boy and I needed to keep face. After we started "dating" she went back to school, she was in a boarding school.
From that moment, i didn't speak to her again. When she called, when she came back for breaks, i just went past her like i didn't see her or she didnt exist to me. Until one day, on my moms birthday i was in my room. Had a little bit of alcohol, and she walked into my room and asked to see my sister. I flipped and screamed at her asking if she didn't know the way to her room...
just as she was leaving i saw tears fall from her eyes, i sat still for what felt like an hour, and then i ran afer her. She was in the kitchen crying so so bad, i wanted to be happy that i finally might have taught her the lesson i desired, but then her tears.. i couldn't hold myself back, i hugged her and then kissed her.
In that minute, i was flooded with emotions. Emotions i couldn't control. I found myself making promises of being better, and truthfully i started doing right. I wasnt keeping females around me anymore, and i wanted to be around her more often. Yes, i had fallen for her. I questioned that decision a lot of times, but did i have control? NOPE, i didn't.. Soon i became obsessed with her, i was head over hills and was happy being there.
Months passed, and we grew closer and then she went back to school for her final Term. I didnt get a call the whole term which was surprising, months passed and nothing. then i found out she was home already for over 2 weeks and still didn't reach out to me.. from there on every attempt i made to reach out to her was blocked, if she saw me walking out she quickly moved in a different direction.
I spent 2 good years.... 770 Days, sending apologies for whatever i did. Which i didnt even know.. i didn't miss a day. Every morning and night i sent a message, always on schedule like my life depended on it, i was unable to function for the longest.
It was literally after 2 years i realized TABLES HAD TURNED. I had learnt the lesson i was trying to Give.
Images are mine.
