Remembering is not a way of living but a comfortable (or not) state in which we can relive past moments, which may bring joy and bright to our glance and pull a smile out of our mouths or a tear out of our eyes.
My restless mind
Thinking is one of the states in which I lose myself more often.
Losing myself (in thinking) means traveling in thoughts (back or forward), it doesn't matter to me, they both are useful.
I don't usually get to plan my thinking time though.
It's like...
After dinner it'll be a good time to do some thinking and then go to bed for some whatever comes up.(Let's mark that pending in the scheduled activities for tonight)
Heck no. Thinking just comes out of the blue(Although sometimes I stop and do some thinking on a specific important matter that requires it). I'm just standing, seating or laying anywhere after whatever I did before and then I go into it, just like that, and I see it clearly, the past or even the future , the past is clearer though, I already lived it, so, no changes will ocurr( just some retrospective analysis).
In one of those retrospective thinking moments while relooking my action movie I thought... Fuckballs!!! I've used my sword through life more than what a champion gladiator before getting his freedom could have used his, but the it's s still sharp.😁
Some might see this(the high level of my sword activities) as an accomplishment. Well, it's a compendium of experiences I don't regret and enjoyed, that also gave me a lot of teachings as well as the perspective of what I really wanted(for my sword and myself). A Gladiator fights (or used to fight back then) for his freedom, his freedom lays in the succes of his sword to get him through battles in one peace but victorious as well, not me, I was a slave of my sword. The battles it fought (most of them) left me a defeat sensation even when others could see them as victories, cause the sword fought well(and it mostly did) and the battle process was a seemingly successful one. So, for me it was not an accomplishment but I'm grateful of those multiple , hundreds, thousands(who's counting anyway?), ....battles and what they taught me(that I'm using fucken well now that's worth it ).
Many years ago, when he still was around, my brother( who was totally in love at the time with some girl) confessed me he wanted to be like me(the back then me), that he wanted to be swording around left to right up and down with no regard, as here the writing gladiator did at the time. I just told him that one has to do what makes one really happy and fulfilled as one really is, and swording around, though it might seemed it, didn't make me happy at all( Did I enjoy it? Heck Yeah!!!), it was always an empty feeling in the end, the lack of love was a shity thing to coexist with that ended up boring me and my sword everytime and feeling a hole inside that seemingly was never gonna be filled. Until now(2 years ago and still now).End of short story
Now I'm really in love and finally free from my sword(Fuken no 🤣🤣). Well my sword keeps wanting blood, but now it's only one blood, the blood of love. So I'm no longer public but a private gladiator now.
So, the thoughts of this private Gladiator led to this #saturdayselections that comes with old songs from that younger time when my sword well brandished started serially slaying around anything that moved with a decent standard of worthy adversaryment(Any-she-thing that moved sometimes actually 😉) while sharpening to set itself up to the greater good that was coming (today).
🎵Always-Bon Jovi🎵
🎵I don't wanna miss a thing-Aerosmith🎵
🎵High way to hell-AC/DC🎵
🎵Runaway-Bon Jovi🎵
