Who's driving?

Who's driving?

It's all in there and after a while of awareness looking and seeking the right direction one realizes where one's real power resides...and it's all in one's mind.

Yes!!! I've felt powerlessness to create positive changes in my life so many times, not now though, hopefully not anymore.
Why? It could be a long explanation but I'll make it short for you, cause after a very odd journey I've found out that most of the time it ain't our conscious mind the one piloting the ship but our body instead playing the automatic pilot role. Our undisciplined body making decisions or simply not making them.

Body's not supposed to make decisions at all.

Right!!! It is not.

When one lets that happen unnoticed some elements that kill the ongoing process of growing, overcoming challenges, learning, finding solutions and creating show up, elements like laziness, pessimism, complaining, ansiety, low self-esteem, depression, among others.

Listening to that voice inside saying:

You can't, you're not good enough, you will fail, get some rest, it can wait until tomorrow, it's not worth it, you are a loser...etc.

That won't get you too far, it won't get you anywhere to be honest.

Then one becomes the worst version one can be and completely loses power to make changes(good ones, improving ones) in one's life. Well, one doesn't really lose power, one just feels like it.

That's what happened to me till I hit the wall. What wall? Mine. The one you crash to when you find yourself in the back seat of your own life and wonder...Who the fuck is driving?

The wall punched me hard, hard enough to wake and realize I wasn't driving, hard enough to

Black belted

It's been a long time since we, cubans, started to deal with the loss of power(electricity's)

At the beginning it was a big deal, some adjustments had to be made to solve some problems the lack of power created
When you depend on electeicity to do mostly everything at home and at work and it is gone then some problems show up. Still is a big deal, don't get me wrong, but when that kind of changes come to stay, as it has been and is the case, one goes getting use to it until it doesn't feel like a big deal at all and one goes ahead with "life" without electricity for hours, days or weeks, depending on the circumstances and it(the lack) becomes an unnoticed part of your daily "life" and a member of your family that doesn't eat food.

So, if you look at it like a sport, we (cubans) started a while ago to be trained hardly to adapt and survive the best way possible to the loss of power(electricity's and some others as well). After years of disciplined training I could say that I..., as many others of our team, am Black belted in that speciality.

I cook with this if petroleum is available

Or with this full of charcoal when it's not

Sleep with this one to bare the heat at nights and manage to charge it with solar panels

In the present moment.

During my life I've been wanting to change a bunch of things about myself, but as I look at it now those weren't the right things to change.

There's only one thing I'd like and I'm working on changing a while now and won't say "if I had the power", cause I know I have it, it's only a work in progress and an ongoing discipline-effort process. Overthinking would be the thing, taking full control of my mind to get it where it's required under my conscious guide and preventing it from going on automatic-emotional pilot back to a hurtful past that would provide nothing but sorrow, depression and self compassion and from going to an uncertain future which results I can't control. From the past I'll keep the experience and I'll buld the desired future working now, day by day, in the present moment.