So this regular season, the Bears won six games when they were trailing with two minutes left in the game. So of course the Bears first playoff game had to be another heart attack educing roller coaster ride. Although is it really a roller coaster when three fourths of the ride is just boring and getting angry before the last quarter thrills you with more excitement than an human should endure?
In case you missed it, the Bears scored six points during those first three infuriating quarters. Then they scored twenty five in the fourth quarter. Holy shit!
Last Saturday night, I did something I have never done before. As soon as the game ended and I watched a couple of interviews in which Bears quarterback Caleb Williams said the word "we" FOURTEEN times... and I mean literally FOURTEEN times as I counted them (I love this kid!) I rewound the game on my cloud DVR and watched the entire fourth quarter again. I had to watch it twice to prove what I had just seen was real. Spoiler alert... It was!!!!!!!
Because I was so excited for the game, I didn't want to go to a bar and watch it where I might have been distracted. Instead I decided to just stay in and watch by myself. After watching the Bears crap down their leg for about an hour, my buddy Mike, who was also watching the game at home alone, and I started texting back and fourth about how furious we were with how horribly the Bears were playing.
This gave me an idea. I've written a lot about the Bears... after the fact. I always write after I've had some time to digest the game. So I wondered if it would be entertaining for you guys if I just posted my text messages that I sent in real time. I figure this way you get to witness the roller coaster of emotions I go through during one of these insane bears games. I do warn you though, I usually try to keep my posts Rated PG-13 or lower... but this one is definitely Rated R for "strong language throughout". And I mean STRONG and THROUGHOUT. So without further adieu here are my real time thoughts about last Saturday's Packers vs Bears Round 1 Playoff game.
By the way, at one point I realized my feed was delayed compared to my buddy. You'll see what I mean in the transcript...
Chewie: What is wrong with the Bears secondary?
Han: They are bad at football
Han: The bears defense is absolutely horrendous.
Chewie: No kidding.
Han: The only reason they win is if they get turnovers.
Chewie: They just let the packers pass down the field
Han: It’s their only hope.
Han: Without turnovers they have no chance
Han: Their defense is definitely the worst of
Han: Their defense is definitely the worst of the 14 playoff teams because they are bottom 5 in the nfl. Turnovers covered up a lot of warts.
Chewie: Edwards injury looked horrible. His foot was flopping around
Han: But the problem is that the offense stalled and had to kick a field goal and then they didn’t score at all. They need to score every possession like against the 49ers or they have no chance
Han: I turned away. I know it’s really bad.
Han: He is one of their only good defensive players
Han: They are fucked if they don’t score a touchdown on literally every possession.
Chewie: Most definitely
Han: And the packers defender was really dumb to catch the int. He should have knocked it down. But didn’t matter as the bears d is so bad.
Chewie: But they won’t
Han: They honestly could score every time.
Han: Packers d is also bad.
Chewie: For lucky on that fumble
Han: Down 11 they need all good luck from this point
Han: It’s their only hope
Chewie: Wow they called that incomplete?
Han: I would not punt again. They need to score every time
Han: Game over
Han: That was a fun season
Chewie: Yea. Packers will score again this set of plays
Han: Slim chance they get a turnover
Chewie: Only thing that might save them is a turnover
Han: lol yep
Han: I’d kick for sure
Han: Although
Chewie: Great so they can take more time to score
Han: Damn.
Chewie: That was a strange handoff
Han: That was the break they needed
Han: Yeah it was a zone read
Han: Love may have wanted to keep it
Han: The bears fucked up really bad by signing that defensive end who got hurt… but also sucked before getting hurt. If they had a pass rush it would cover up other problems
Han: Wow. So easy
Han: Yikes
Chewie: They get very little penetration and their one on one coverage sucks
Han: Their secondary has all been injured so even more important to get a pass rush… and they have not… at all
Han: They gave him elite money even though he has never done a thing
Han: Hopefully they get max Crosby or hutcheson in the offseason
Han: It would change everything
Chewie: Defensive growth is what they need, which is weird to say about the Bears. They usually have a decent defense.
Han: Im 0% surprised green bay is scoring at will but I am surprised the bears only have 3.
Han: I would have guessed it would be 21 to 13
Chewie: Offense is not impressive this half. It is the same as last weeks game
Han: Doesn’t even matter if they make or miss this
Han: A block would be great if they could return it
Han: I have no reason to believe the packers won’t score every possession
Chewie: Lucky break
Han: Yeah. Doesn’t matter
Han: I might honestly have aibekick to start the half.
Han: Onside kick
Han: They might have a better chance of recovering than stopping Green Bay. Plus then it will take Green Bay less time to score. The bears can’t cover a whole field. They’re better off trying
Han: They might have a better chance of recovering than stopping Green Bay. Plus then it will take Green Bay less time to score. The bears can’t cover a whole field. They’re better off trying to stop them when the safeties can pinch in
Han: Even if the packers score 4 field goals and the bears score 4 touchdowns the bears still lose.
Han: So need 4 touchdowns and 3 two point conversions lol
Han: And hold Green Bay to 4 field goals. Other words.
Han: The first drive was good… until it stalled
Han: And it would be impossible to look as bad as the defense
Chewie: I missed it. The drives I have seen have not been good
Han: The bears have not punted yet. So they haven’t been a joke. The defense is a joke.
Han: But they only have 3 points so they have also sucked.
Han: But the defense is sucking at an epic level
Chewie: At least they made it to the playoffs
Han: Yeah that was very unexpected
Han: Good experience
Han: They were not supposed to win anything this year. Next year they better address defense.
Han: If they get a pass rusher everything changes
Chewie: That was some good defense
Han: I’d be embarrassed if I were the packers
Chewie: How was that incomplete?
Han: No idea.
Han: That is insane
Han: Holy shit
Chewie: He caught, turned and stepped. What more evidence do you need
Han: Is that a catch?
Chewie: Nice come back
Han: Wait till he gets back to the line of scrimmage and hands it to the referee
Han: Still waiting to see if this is a catch
Han: Oh fuck
Chewie: Hope Williams isn’t that hurt
Han: Oh thank god it was a twisted ankle
Han: I thought it was Achilles
Han: That was it right there. Had to have a td.
Chewie: Yep that was their opportunity
Han: Refer some momentum
Han: Needed
Han: I don’t think they will get a regular interception so it will need to be knocking the ball out
Han: Wow!
Chewie: Still pushing though
Han: Jesus.
Han: They can’t stop giving me heart attacks
Han: Every week
Chewie: Holy shit!!!!
Han: Just play well in the first half and they'd blow people out
Chewie: D needs to hold the Packers one more time
Han: So you are like 20 seconds ahead of me lol
Chewie: Why do they not wake up and play until the 2nd half?
Han: They have very good coaches that make awesome adjustments at half time
Han: It’s like they need to watch the first half to figure out what to do
Chewie: I’ll hold back with comments
Han: It is weird
Han: Oh no it’s fun!
Chewie: I am watching on Prime.
Han: What are you watching
Han: What are you watching on? I’m on Hulu live
Han: Well “live”
Han: I’m on the Fox feed of it. Maybe I should switch
Chewie: Strange that they would be 10–20 seconds off
Han: I switched let’s see
Han: Damn 1 handed catch!
Han: Fuck!
Han: At least he went out of bounds
Han: Bet they don’t pass again
Han: I would not have called that timeout there
Han: I don’t like these timeouts
Han: No flag!!!
Han: Huge!
Han: Incomplete and stop clock
Han: Must stop here.
Han: And pressure to run.
Chewie: Wow how was that not interference
Han: If it’s incomplete leaves too much time and bears have timeout
Han: Play of the season
Han: Jesus. I’m going to have a heart attack
Han: 3rd and 15
Chewie: Holy shit
Han: They should run
Han: Wow!!!
Han: That’s nuts
Han: They stopped them again
Han: Miss this field goal!!!
Chewie: Fantastic!
Han: Oh my god!
Han: Did you see the miss when you said fantastic?
Han: This is freaking nuts. This season is insane
Chewie: Fuck me. It was short and to the right
Han: Amazing!!!!
Han: Damn he almost hit Loveland
Chewie: Long field but at least they have time
Han: Had him but too much pressure
Han: Well actually starting at the 33 ain’t bad
Han: Need like 32 yards for good field goal
Chewie: then
Han: Imagine if they didn’t do the stupid 4th down pass…
Han: But whatever it’s a game
Han: If you told me 2 hours ago the bears would be down 3 with the ball at the 50 with 2 minutes left I would have told you to stop talking out of your ass
Han: Catch the fucking ball!!!
Han: Fuck!!!!!
Han: That would have been huge
Han: Tripoli hopping off was huge
Han: Saves the time out. What a great play by a rookie
Chewie: What happened to him
Han: And then that pass!!!
Han: Hurt
Han: No time for replay to show it
Chewie: Nice follow up play
Han: Now they will run
Han: Or not!!!
Chewie: Holy Fuck!!!!
Han: Holy fuck!!!
Han: Exactly what I was yelling
Chewie: One last HUGE defense stop
Han: Caleb so freaking calm
Han: Not going nuts on that
Han: 72 yards
Han: Just fucking stop them
Han: Get a turnover
Han: I don’t need the drama
Han: 96 seconds
Han: Stop them!
Han: In bounds for 3 years a.
Han: Might need Gordon to sit
Chewie: Fuck
Han: He can’t cut
Han: Jesus too close
Han: hit him in hands
Han: Gordon needs to sit
Han: Put him at linebacker
Han: Gordon almost got a 15 yard penalty there
Han: I’d pull him
Chewie: This is frustrating as shit
Han: Got the most out of him they can
Han: Double moves and he’s
Han: Double moves and he’s dead
Han: I’m going to have a heart attack
Chewie: Beneficial injury
Chewie: 22 seconds…
Han: Yeah it actually saved them a down though
Han: Would have spiked it
Han: About the same time
Han: Gordon is going to get a penalty
Han: That’s 2
Han: If he does it again it will be called
Chewie: Fuck
Han: False start doesn’t do much
Han: Just 5 yards
Chewie: Uggh
Han: Yes!
Han: That’s a fumble
Han: Might advance ball
Han: But not sure they can
Chewie: Shit yeah
Han: Hmmm 5 seconds
Han: Really?!
Chewie: What???
Han: Gordon did not play smart football that drive. He should have knocked that down not try to catch it.
Han: They scored 25 in the 4th
Han: Missed extra point and field goal
Han: With only 1 big play and no turnovers
Chewie: Those helped with the screwed up 4th down pass and the botched snap
Han: Williams “we we we we”
There was tha much swearing during a win... imagine if the Bears lost!
