to continue....
I became aware of him in 2013, by 2014 he was fading fast to almost nothing and I really wondered what had happened? Was it real?
After another year and talking to other TF's online, I managed to let go of the idea. Then there was this fellow online. He had had a hard life in his past and I was just watching about suicide in Korea and how high it was. Though it was very unlikely he was feeling this way , because he was doing quite well, I suddenly felt compelled to help him somehow, to give him words of encouragement and to let him know he was not alone. It was strong in me and I genuinely felt worried for this complete stranger that lived on the other side of the planet.
To my surprise he answered me indirectly. And although others didn't seem to notice it, I did. We began...."talking" indirectly online and I felt odd about it and was going to kind of back off since he seemed ok after awhile. But he then showed me that he was interested in me.
Thus our relation began and it kinda just stays there.
I've never met him and we've never talked directly, not by phone, nor skype nor nothing. It just stays this way.
Much later I found out he had been with another woman for slightly longer than he has known me. It kinda explained why the fade out in 2014 .....(in fact, on a forum, I was aware of it as before I 'met' him, I had written for him not to consider her, that what he was feeling was not from someone else, but me. I wrote that he'd never be happy with her. I did not know about him at the time I wrote about that, I just sensed another woman.)
It enraged me when I found out about her and I tried to cut him off, but couldn't. Still can't. So it just is what it is. We still communicate, but nothing else has really happened and I don't really expect it to. He's just my love and I often thought he must not be the real TF. He must be what others call, the "imposter", "catalyst", "precursor", "false twin flame". I've gone back and forth with it thinking it's possible. But I really don't know either way. We have trouble letting each other go. He's alot younger than me, so though that rarely matters with TF's it seems to with us.
And so that's where it sits today. I have been thru alot the last 3 years, so I am wanting to go towards a more positive outcome for myself. I am glad he's at least there, online, my online friend, even if nothing else occurs, it's just nice to have him there, because he has in fact, been there for me several times when I needed someone on my side. So I'm really grateful for him.
So that's a really , really quick run down of the story. The energy and feelings and strange happenings that happened back then , have faded.
I wonder to myself about it all, I wonder about this phenomenon, so I try to find others that experience it.
