I am not sure if it was my first time hearing the sound. But what I do remember is that my first experience was paying deep and close attention to the sound of a talking drum as if it was breathing. It was during one of these traditional weddings that my family was invited to, that type of celebration where everyone knows my father's name.
Among those who were playing instruments. The talking drummer said quietly he was not ready to drum, or maybe he didn't want attention, but gradually, his hands started moving as he picked up his drum, and somehow he started talking through the drum. Not just the sound, but if you are familiar with the talking drum, you will know that it is a drumbeat with meaning. I saw how elderly people were laughing and how the groom also reacted. It was as if the drum was saying something I didn't understand, but I later asked my mom, and she told me what the drummer was saying through the drum.
Ever since then, I have gotten fascinated with it and I always wish I could also do that. Not because of show of or money. But for my own use, just to sit somewhere and pass a message across without begging for attention. But the funny thing is that I've never given it a try. I just appreciate it from afar, even the church I attend, there is this guy who usually beat the drum and I do appreciate it. In fact my eyes are always glued to how he beat the drum during singing time.
I don't know if it's general, but in my house, hobbies are usually what we engage ourselves in after something serious. I usually hear my mom say, “Read your books and face your studies; beating a drum won't feed you.” Well, she might be right even though it wasn't about the money for me.
And even up to this moment, just like that talking drum drummer in my church, anytime I also see drummers on any occasion, something comes alive inside me like a mixed, tight feeling. Not as jealousy, but it's something like, “You should also have learned this,” coupled with fear. Because if I am being honest here. I have imagined all the possible scenarios in my head, in which I pictured myself being bad at it, not talking, and not understanding the rhythm of how to pass the message across the way they do it.
And now, life has already given me some workloads and a lot of things I am still trying to figure out. So adding how to beat a talking drum to it now will feel like a heavy struggle for me because learning it alone needs a lot of dedication and a great deal of time. So, what I have been doing so far is that I appreciate those who are good at it. I smile and enjoy every beat of it as I go back home with the silent thought in my mind that maybe I missed something small but important.
And sometimes when I am overwhelmed, I tell myself possibly it's not too late to sit and learn it gradually, even though it may not be every day. But at the same time, life always comes with a lot of bills, responsibilities, and those old voices!. Because anytime I hear the sound of it, something inside of me usually beat even though I always try to do as if I don't hear it. And maybe one of these days, I might probably be patience enough to learn it so that I can allow my inner peace to final be happy. Or maybe I might just keep appreciating it from a distance.
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