It took me a very long time before I got to realize that being a good person does not necessarily means I should be granting everyone's wishes and saying yes to them, especially if they need my assistance. I have always been there for someone even though I know that I do not have the energy. Solving the problems of others even though I knew that it was going to affect me in a way. In my country, I do not know about others, but here, because a lot of people see me as someone who is nice, they expect me to always be there for them. And I used to do that before, but I was kind of having a heavy mind, like I have been carrying the burdens that are not even my own to bare.
Until recently, I started saying no, stopped going all in for people, and I started choosing myself when I was on the verge of losing myself trying to be the Mr. Nice Guy that everyone needed. I remember some time ago when a friend of mine asked me to show up at an event, but I was feeling so weak that day that he got angry that I did not come despite the fact that I dropped a message that I might not be able to come. At that moment, I gained something very important: that in this life, if I needed to rest because I was feeling weak, I should get that rest because that is not a disrespect.
And since that very moment, I have decided to set boundaries to avoid see finish. And since I stopped overexplaining myself to people after telling them that "I am not available" I do not force myself to show up for everyone. I put my phone on DND if need be because I have decided to choose myself and my peace of mind above other things.
And this does not mean that I am a selfish person because some things, like my mental health, are very important, most especially in situations like this. I need to be stable and balance everything. Now, I now prioritize myself just like the way I used to do to others before.
Because I have decided to choose myself does not mean I have pride. Personally, it is just a way of coping and surviving, and truth be told, it has been incredibly awesome.
Remember to love yourself because that's who you'll be spending the rest of your life with.
Thank you for reading.
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