I didn't get into all these dating dramas early because I was focused only on my education, I had eyes only for education and it was the only thing I had a romantic feeling with. My dream was to be a pilot but here I am today living my life as a fish farmer. Today when I see students say they want to become this and that, I just laugh because as kids, our sight wasn't clear enough to see reality.
At the time I realized that life wasn't what I thought it was, I decided to be part of the dating trend. It was hard catching up and I was ridiculed quite a lot of times. It was embarrassing to seek advice from people who I once told that they weren't serious with their lives because they were in a relationship so I started watching teenage love movies to learn a few tricks.
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Getting a girlfriend wasn't the issue and my problem was what people do in a relationship.
I finally got into a relationship with this girl from a rich home while I was the opposite. Someone in the right state of mind should know that such a relationship won't work but I have been brainwashed by the movies and thought nothing was impossible.
We mostly talk on the phone and seldom see until she decided that we went on a date. I checked my pocket and turned the idea down so she agreed on coming to my house which was another bad idea.
Mom mustn't know about her so I checked when she wouldn't be around and gave my girlfriend a date.
The day came and immediately she sent a message that she was nearby, I quickly prepared, got a bottle of soft drink and snacks with the last money on me.
I went to pick her up and to my greatest surprise, she came with another friend. On arriving home, I got another surprise because the snacks and drinks were gone. I started sweating profusely because I didn't have the money to get another one.
We chatted for a while and I made up my mind to get stuff on credit to entertain them. I brought the stuff home and they said, they were okay.
I felt terrible because I got them on credit and wished I could return them immediately but I didn't want to ridicule myself in case they decided to take them later but they didn't.
She didn't feel comfortable at my place, the environment and the apartment itself weren't something to write home about.
They eventually left and when I returned from seeing them off, the drinks were gone again. It turned out to be that my brother and best friend have been monitoring me, they were responsible for the missing items.
I tried reaching my girlfriend that day and she wasn't responding. There used to be a program we use to listen to on the radio about relationships so my girlfriend called me to tune in that night. I tuned in as usual and was listening, it was fun because people do call to tell different good and bad relationship stories.
I ended up hearing my girlfriend's voice, she introduced herself and what came to my mind was that she wanted to say sweet things about her relationship. I was smiling like a dolphin that was fed shrimp until she let the cat out of her bag.
"I was so disappointed after my first visit to my boyfriend's place and am glad we haven't gone too deep. I am officially breaking with you" (she mentioned my name and even the show anchor was shocked).
It was the end of my fairy tale love so I decided to come back to my level.
There was a girl in the next compound who liked me so we took things seriously immediately.
She didn't have a phone so we do exchange letters through a hole in the fence that separates our buildings.
It was a secret love and things were fine. Somehow, her mom discovered. We didn't know anything and while we were exchanging letters as usual, she caught us. She is not learned so she called someone to help her read and translate.
The person came and began exaggerating while reading, her mother's reaction caught people's attention, and soon, people gathered.
My mom got involved and another epic relationship I was building ended.
I had to do away with the movie's idea of relationships because they don't fit into reality. My next relationship didn't last forever but it was a lot better than the first two.
The post is a submission to the ComedyOpenMic ft Paritae blogging competition, "Dating Chronicles" with over $150 in prize.
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