Vexed and Cleo comfort

Today started out like usual and proceeded along in typical fashion: Breakfast, drive to work, work, lunch, more work and the drive home but somewhere along the line I became frustrated. I'm going to use the word vexed though, as one doesn't get to use it often enough these days. I became rather vexed.

I'm not going to go into the reasons here however I'll admit to being quite angry. I'll be honest say I do a pretty good job at it when I get pushed far enough. I don't go around breaking things, or other people, (much) but I can work up quite a storm internally and it spills over sometimes. Hey, no one's perfect right? Certainly not me!

I generally stay away from people when this happens as I don't want that attitude, emotion or feeling to touch others; this is especially so if it doesn't relate to, or concern them. I keep to myself, internalise the matter, and try to find some sort of balance, solid ground or a path through the maze.

This used to be a little more difficult for me as I operated in pressured environments in which quite or reflective thought was difficult to find. I guess too, I didn't have the understanding I do now; the patience or emotional intelligence. Fortunately I have the ability to find some space to do so now, to think things through and find a more settled and comfortable state of being and a better way forward. The image above shows one such place.

That's Cleo sleeping with her head rested on my leg. I had been sitting on the couch seething contemplating the source of my anger and trying to comprehend the situation when she came over and snuggled in. I appreciated it.

As I sat there watching her sleep my anger seemed to melt away; I can never remain angry with her around and as soon as that happened I started to see things with more clarity. I didn't reach a resolution; only action will make that come to pass, but I found a more productive frame of mind and that made it easier for me to step things through.

Life isn't all smooth sailing; I know that all too well as over the course of my life there's been many rough seas to navigate...I've managed it though and am still managing it.

I guess what matters is not so much what events occur, but how one deals with them, and moves forward from them and into the future. I've dealt with many challenges very well and just as many very poorly, but I've moved each one forward eventually. These days...it's a little easier to work through difficult things, I guess through having fifty two years of experience behind me...but I still make mistakes. I think it's human. I'm not saying being angry is a mistake, but I think allowing it to cloud my path forward is. Choosing not to let anger get in the way of a resolution, of happiness and contentment is a good choice...but not always the easiest to reach I suppose.

So, I'm no longer vexed. Sure, the matter still exists and needs to be dealt with, but I'm in a better position to do so thanks to my years of experience Cleo and the comfort she brings me...and years of experience.