I had an interesting afternoon today, at work I mean. I won't go into the full details but in a nutshell I had to deliver collective attitude adjustments to my team, as a whole, nudge them in a direction different to the one they were taking and to set some goals.
It went well; I've worked hard with my team to create an attitude that takes constructive criticism well, responds maturely to my occasional attitude-shifting-meetings and that simply take the new paradigm and move on. It's not luck, just something all good leaders should be doing.
When conducting these meetings I take into account the types of people I have in the room; Not just if they are male or female but also their ages, experience, longevity in the company, job-function and individual personality profiles. Again, any good leader will know his or her team in this way.
What I seek in all interactions, and especially ones that need to be approached delicately, is to begin with the end-goal in mind; Namely, clearly expressing my requirements and directions, to keep them focused. I use a simple process.
- Describe the situation (I call them opportunities) clearly and objectively. I'm careful to keep it facts-based and free from interpretation or opinion, even though I may have a strong one. I do this to get the team all on the same page from the outset.
- Letting them know the results, ramifications or impacts of the situation is next. Today it was strictly business-related, but if using this technique in a personal situation it might be something like, "I feel___ because ___." A more feelings-based scenario. At work it's business-oriented but, occasionally in one-on-one scenarios, it might be a little more about the latter. Feelings.
- I never skirt the subject, I'm direct, specific and very clear. This isn't done in an aggressive manner, just assertively and focussing on the situation, the objective, is important.
- This is all done in conversation - I don't hold court like a king, rather, I encourage others to interact, wait patiently for them to get a point or excuses across. It's important to reinforce the desired outcome but reward those contributing to it. Nodding approval, genuine smiles and saying, "thank you, nice work," go a long way here. It's amazing how responsive to reward team-members can be. They sit straighter, feel more validated and valued and are often more inclined to contribute further. It helps me get them driving more directly and the goals.
- Along the way I work to remain focused and not to forget the objective or outcome I have pre-determined. Getting off-topic and heading on tangents can lengthen the process and be frustrating for all; Again, it's about the facts, the issue, not the person or people.
- Body language and posture is always open and relaxed. No crossed arms, wild hand or arm gestures and good eye contact with an even tone of voice wins the day. I also maintain a degree of confidence, not arrogance; I'm the leader after all and they look to me for direction.
- This last is vitally important I think, for me at least, that is, I show flexibility and am open to negotiation and alternatives. Being inflexible can cause walls to form and make people feel like they're being dictated to which can be deflating; It's not the military after all. I prefer to empower my team and help them reach solutions themselves - That way they feel more invested in the outcomes and interested in deploying the strategies to reach our goals. No one can win all the time and in these work situations I don't attempt to.
The process I've described above isn't the only way to reach the desired outcome but is one that I've used for a long time to good effect; It brings people on-board rather than making them feel like passengers. It allows people to feel invested in the processes and outcomes and that means they work harder at them and more happily.
That was my afternoon, interesting considering the scenarios we were discussing, but very productive. It will all move forward effectively, the team will feel like one, a team, and will have the opportunity to excel and shine, for which I'll reward them.
This scenario, the process above, could be adapted for any interaction a person has be it their child, partner, boss, friend, family member...Anyone really. They are simple steps and will probably bring a lot more value to the interaction than some other possible techniques. Ranting and raving has it's place I guess, but there's alternatives.
So, what's your thoughts and how do you approach interactions like this at work or in your social life? It's inevitable there'll be difficult or awkward interactions in a person's life and dealing with them effectively is important. How do you do it?
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
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