The Power Of Forgiveness
So someone has really done you wrong and you are mad. So mad in fact that it keeps you up at night, you wake up in the morning thinking about it and eats at you constantly. It keeps you from eating or you eat and eat because of it. It has you upset all of the time. What you are experiencing is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness brings anger and hurt, anxiety and even rage. It is as though you have put this person in jail and you have to be the jail keeper watching so that they do not escape, but they may not even know you put them there so who is really in jail?
Forgiveness is a choice just as unforgiveness is. There is such power in forgiveness. It can transform anger and hurt into healing and peace. When you forgive it is a decision that you make to let it go. Forgiveness does not mean going back and experiencing that same pain over again. It does not mean that you stick around to let that person again. It means you don’t have to be the jail keeper, you get to be free. Forgiveness can help you overcome the feelings of anger, rage, self-doubt and even depression and help you move ahead in personal relationships.
The physical pain that you deal with when you choose not to forgive can bring about high blood pressure, tremendous stress, fatigue, and loss of sleep. It has been proven that when you choose to forgive your heart rate goes down, your blood pressure does too and you guessed it so does your stress. Your thoughts go from negative to positive, the quality of your sleep improves and the inner conflict you have been experiencing dwindles. You begin to experience peace.
Is it hard to forgive? Sometimes it is but it is a skill once learned becomes invaluable. If you are having trouble forgiving someone, try this technique that I dreamed up but it works. Picture yourself walking up a small mountain on a perfect day. As you come down the mountain you see a beautiful grassy field and in it is a fenced in coral. Picture your hand growing big enough to pick the person up who has hurt you and put them in the coral. Now walk away, back up the mountain and back down into your life. Think of it as a boundary, they cannot get out unless you let them out, and they can’t hurt you. They are safe in the coral and you are safe in your life.
When we forgive we develop positive emotions that will help us through life. These emotions will help us to have positive and healthy relationships with others. These positive emotions include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faith and self-control.
Think about your situation and instead of being the victim become the hero. Instead of the downfall look at how much you have learned and how much stronger you are. Think of how you can use your story to strengthen others who are also struggling.
Stop blaming yourself. Look at the person who hurt you as someone who must be hurting. The old adage, “Hurting people hurt people.” is true. You don’t have to accept their behavior. You need to forgive because of you, not them. You can never, and should never try to control someone, but you can control you and the choices you make.
Forgiveness is key in the Christian faith. And much is written about it. “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” There truly is power in forgiveness.
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