If there is one thing I have learned in this life it is that forgiveness is easier to talk about than to actually do it, alot of people always say, "Just forgive and move on," they say it like as if it is as simple as switching off a light bulb, but I tell you today that anyone who has ever been deeply hurt knows that it is not that easy at all , i have been hurt before by people that I trusted, and not just small misunderstandings or those minor disappointments, nope,.... I mean the kind of hurt that actually stays in your mind very long after even the situation has passed, the kind that makes you replay conversations in your head and wonder why someone would do that to you.
And at a point, I remember telling myself that I would never forgive these certain people, to me then, I felt they did not deserve my forgiveness, and seriously, why should I forgive someone who has caused me so much pain and then they continued living their life as if nothing happened, see It felt unfair like really , I wanted them to feel exactly what I felt, but then as time passed, I began to realize something important, and it is that the anger I was carrying was not hurting them but it was hurting me.
See while I was busy replaying the hurt over and over again in my head , they were probably sleeping peacefully at night, while me I was carrying the weight of their resentment, they were just moving on with their lives, that was when it began to dawn on me that refusing to forgive was like drinking poison and now expecting another person to suffer from it.
Coping with the pain of not forgiving someone is terrible, like It is really exhausting, It takes up space that could be used for better things, It affects your peace of mind your mood and sometimes even the way you relate with people, that is why I try much as possible to forgive, and forgiveness is a process.
Now let me be clear about this forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nope, There are some things people do that you may never completely forget about, and that is normal, we are beings, not machines, some wounds leave big scars, those scars become reminders of lessons we learned the hard way, forgiveness simply means refusing to allow that pain to control my life forever, It means choosing my peace over my pride, It means accepting that what happened cannot be changed and that My future does not have to be defined by it.
For me forgiveness and trust are not the thing, I can forgive someone and Still decide to keep my distance from them, I can wish them well but still protect my own peace,
Do I think everyone is worthy of forgiveness? Honestly yes and not because every action deserves forgiveness but because I deserve freedom from carrying the burden of hatred, sometimes forgiveness is less about the person who hurt you and more about yourself, Forgiveness is about me and not them.
At the end of the day holding onto pain for years does not change what happened, It only keeps you stuck in that moment while life keeps moving, Life is too short to spend it carrying anger, So whenever I can I choose forgiveness, It is not always immediate, It is not always easy but I try, because I would rather, move forward than remain trapped in a painful chapter of my life, The hurt may remain in my memory but then I refuse to let it remain in my heart forever, I surely will keep choosing forgiveness.
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