Hello Community,
So I want to be honest with you, i don't think everyone deserves forgiveness, i know that sounds harsh, I think it's more complicated than just forgiving anyone,for me forgiveness isn't something you demand, it is something you earn especially when someone hurts you deeply.
Have I ever been hurt by someone and I had sworn never to forgive them? Honestly, yes and it is not because I enjoy carrying grudges around, but because some actions leave scars that don't disappear overnight, there are things people can do that completely change the way you see them, In those moments, forgiveness doesn't feel easy or even possible, the funny thing is that people often talk about forgiveness as if it's a switch you can just turn on.
Someone hurts you today, Tomorrow you forgive them.
Life goes on, But that's not how emotions work.
Someone hurts you today and tomorrow you are supposed to forgive them, hat is not how emotions work, Sometimes you are angry sometimes you are disappointed, sometimes you are just trying to understand why someone did what they did, during that time forgiveness might not be on your mind, personally I don't think people should be pressured into forgiving before they're ready.
I think healing comes first.
Because if you are still bleeding emotionally, forcing yourself to forgive may not be genuine, you might say the words, but deep down the pain is still there, Now, do I think it's healthy to carry pain forever?
No.
That can become a burden of its own, the truth is that when you hold on to hurt for too long, it starts affecting you more than the person who caused it. they may have moved on with their life while you are still carrying the weight of what happened, that is why I believe there is a difference between forgiveness and access, you can eventually let go of the pain without allowing the person back into your life.
A lot of people confuse those two things, forgiving someone does not mean trusting them forgetting what happened or giving them another chance to hurt you, sometimes the healthiest thing is to forgive from a distance.
As, for how I cope with pain, me I give myself time, I don't pretend to be okay when I am not, if something hurts I acknowledge it and yes I do think about it.
Sometimes I talk to the people I can trust about it, and with time, the emotions gradually become easier to carry, see i have learned that time does not always erase pain completely, but it often changes how heavy it feels, at the end of the day, I think forgiveness is a personal journey.
Some people forgive quickly, some others take years, and you know that some wounds may never fully heal and see for me, the important thing is not allowing bitterness to take over your life.
Whether you eventually forgive or not, you should not let someone else's actions to keep controlling your peace forever , because while pain is sometimes unavoidable, staying trapped in it doesn't have to be.
