Such a bold tittle, do I know what love is, do I know better than anyone else? Nope, I do like to ask questions, without getting too hung up and where they take me. They are free, so why not ask challenging ones?
I wrote a series on healing relationships, when I told my wife this, she raised her eyebrows…I don’t blame her, but what can I say, we learn through trying to fix sub optimal actions. That series left me feeling that I had promised without delivering, now I think I know why.
Optimal Action
What an interesting word “Optimal” is.
Opus - seen
Optimus - Best
Opinion - opinari ‘think, believe
Well they seam to be unrelated, but we can still have some fun with this.
Acknowledgement of Relationship
The enemy of relationship appears to be fear that creates conflict or withdrawal.
Withdrawal is better than violence but the removal of attention can feel even worse than abuse.
To me love is a quality of attention that arises from caring.
Caring is an open display of interest without judgement or wanting to take anything without consent.
By this definition, to stare at a woman, in a way that makes her uncomfortable, is not loving, even if you find her beautiful. That would be taking, and love is never selfish.
Love is never selfish
The outward focus of attention without agenda, without expecting anything in return, beyond the sensations revealed from the focus itself.
A pure sensation is the light, entering my eyes, sound waves reverberating through my ear drums, the pressure on my flesh, the taste in mouth and the tiny particles entering my nose. These may give rise to concepts, ideas and the desire to express them. So long as they do not trigger reactive, defensive or aggressive emotions and a stream of judgemental thoughts we can remain with the wonder of that sensation.
Is love full of wonder, or is wonder full of love?
I do not want to turn this into an opinion, because then I might get upset if someone disagrees with it or fails to validate it. That would pull me out of sensation and back into memory and tension. Love appears to be minus my intensions, unless those intensions lead to unselfish action.
Selfishness and grace
Our natural world has been around a very long time, it was doing such wondrous things long before we emerged. To move in ways that flows with that process, I need to be present to it. When I “think” of self and what I need to change to get something that was not already coming, I must leave presence to some degree and turn to memory.
Memory is part of the wonder also, but I find that the memories anchored with tension and restriction tend to upset me, pulling me deeper into mind and changing the way I move and communicate. All my actions end up being about me and what I think, I stop noticing the wonder unless it aligns with “my” version of reality.
If I get what I want, this may feel great, very reassuring, but pretty soon it just feels lonely, so I start to find new people to agree with me or go and attack those who do not. I mean surely it is their fault that the world is not wonderful?
After the fall from grace
I find that pain is this invitation to let go of my less graceful memories and rigid concepts and come back to the wonder of sensation.
Rather than seeking attention, I give it
Perhaps this is love?
Thank you as always, your attention is a precious gift, perhaps the most precious?
=8-P
Wisdom as Action Series
Act 1 - Do you remember?
Act 2 - What is Love?
Act 3 - Feeling Swell
Act 4 - Bound to be Free
Act 5 - Trust Issues
Act 6 - Knowledge
Act 7 - All you Desire