Pill.
That was my life from obesity.
I have a photo of my pill case and yes, I used it and filled it and messed with it and put pills back because I hated it. It's half way done filling up in this photo and will get me through close to 5 weeks since I sometimes did not take it all and messed with all the pills further throughout the month; sorting the ones I didn't take into the next days so I wouldn't get sicker.
I took one handful in the morning that was huge, and then a smaller handful at night and they varied in type of pill.
Some pills were weekly
Some were a few a week
Some were every other day
Some were broken in half
Some were huge and choked me
Some were shots and not pills
I hated them. My son was scared of them, especially the needles.
I lived a sick and fat life of morbid obesity, illness, lethargy, inflammation, work, sleep, pain, doctors, hospitals and my scared son – the reason I couldn’t die.
Before him I was sick ind injured and near death intermittently and didn’t care. "Just save me," I told the hospitals, "So I can keep going."
But it’s different when you have a kid and you are that sick.
You need to make a will, and get guardians, and join a church, and every time you go for surgery say goodbye forever even though he can’t know.
But he did know -
and he was scared to death. It got really bad when he was three and stayed bad through early high school.
Crying himself to sleep at the neighbor's house, or the teachers house, or his friend’s house because his mom was in the hospital. "I was brave, Mommy. I didn't cry except in bed at night so they wouldn't know.
My obesity gave my precious, perfect son ptsd.
Don’t let it happen to yours.
Here’s another kid I met - traumatized by his mother's obesity and poor health.
There are many more kids affected by obesity and they talk to me. They are scared that you are so sick. They are afraid you will die and leave them. Two of my son’s “second mom’s” have actually died recently from obesity and chronic illness. Those two close friends of his do not have their moms like he was afraid would happen to him.
Lose weight and get healthy so your kids do not suffer for you.
I will do anything I can to help you but you have to be driven. You might be like me and almost die in a pool of blood and still not lose weight for the poor kid who thought an animal was screaming and it turned out to be his mom.
That video above was made a year after I got to my goal. That was one of the hardest years of my life - scared to be thin and scared to go back. If you lose weight, you will face this year too - with all the changes it brings. Let's get you to that point so you can heal
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