My eyes are still wide open and I'm turning the pages of my Bible in preparation for the next morning's meeting, even though it's past midnight. I shifted my gaze to my wife who had been fast asleep for several hours. My thoughts flashed back as I stared at her naive gaze.
How far we have progressed from separate individuals to our present state of unity. The cost we paid for each other. We have to let go of our particular views of life to see the world from the same perspective. We have to give up our particular preferences in order to express our opinion. As I reflected on our younger days before marriage, more of these thoughts ran through my head.
Our lifestyle was the opposite before we got married. As soon as I get up, I prefer to make my bed, pray and shower. When goods are not properly put away, such as shoes in a shoe store, wardrobes and wardrobes, I feel easily irritated. I don't enjoy sharing my stuff with anyone, not even my siblings, no matter how close we are. I don't like a lot of people, so I only have a few friends. My siblings and family were my closest friends and the people who made up my world. I can't sleep with the lights on, the radio on, or the TV on. During my school years I lived alone to keep things my own way. I was on the bottom line of memory.
On the other hand, she prefers to wake up and pray first, then shower before making the bed. She prefers to hang her clothes from one end to the other on a rope connected to the wall, keep them around or on the bed, throw her shoes anywhere and use the bed as a table, chair and anything else she can think of. She enjoyed the company of others, had a large number of friends and was extremely extroverted. If the lights went out, she wouldn't be able to sleep. My wife, Joyce, had full responsibility for her life.
We met and fell in love despite our differences. We go on dates and then one day get married.
But how can we live in peace and harmony when we come from such different backgrounds and lifestyles?
There are so many sacrifices to be made, so much to let go and let in. The biblical injunction that says, "And the two shall become one flesh," becomes our equation for dealing with marriage issues. I let go to let in, she let go to let in, and together we created a new pattern for life, a pattern for "we," "us," and "our" instead of "me." , "I" and "mine".
As singles, we all have different experiences and lifestyles, but once you're married, you're no longer male and female, but husband and wife, and you're in a different universe than being single. Unfortunately, many people still desire to live as men and women as they do in their single life after marriage, when they must live as husband and wife.
A distinction must be made between a man and a husband. A woman and a wife are distinguished in the same way. The husband expects the wife to follow his beliefs and principles, and the wife expects the husband to accept hers.
There is nothing wrong with how you lived your life, but if you have to live together as a couple, you have to make some adjustments to have a successful marriage. One has to fix it and the other has to fix it too because it is not the person who is in charge of the household or not, but the success of the marriage.
So when you got married, it wasn't just a change of name or function, "you", "me" and "mine" changed to "we", "us" and "our". So what we will eat is different from what I will eat? What will I wear different from what we will wear? And the school you want our children to attend is different from the school you want the children to attend.
The fact is that neither you nor I have the power to make a relationship work, but it is sad that many want to speed up their marriage in private, where they have to live with their partners as before marriage. So the problem is that many married men and women still live in their marriages as single men or women, going out as they please, dressing as they please, and associating with whomever they please. It's hard to have a successful marriage like this when couples keep acting like they're not married.
I don't remember ever deciding what to eat or what to wear for an occasion. My wife kept asking "what are we having for breakfast" and whatever she chose was fine for all of us. She was able to combine our likes and dislikes and come out with what we like. Well, I would like to eat her favorite foods again and again.
As for the clothes, I let her pick them out because she's the one buying it and we have a lot of clothes that match. Going to some function or anything else is always two and her company is very desirable. Our children look to us as an example as we try to live in harmony and peace with each other.
The image is mine.
