In today's world, it is common for married men and women to do nothing to “resist” the temptation to have sex outside of marriage. It is almost considered a way of life for many married men to cheat on their marriage, and women take the same approach. In a loving relationship, there should be a deep connection between the couple, and that trust and love should never be broken. I have been married for 15 years, and although the night of intimacy is less today than in our youthful days, it is more fulfilling and more dramatic than those sexual misconduct.
There are two groups of people you can find in a marriage today that are prone to adultery; Those who want to be in an equitable marriage, and those who want to be independent. Those who want equitability in marriage consider other people's marriage to be better than theirs, while those who want to be independent find fault with their partners. When a woman starts calling her partner a 'cheat in waiting' it is an indication that she wants to be independent. This a dangerous path not to take in a marriage.
In my marriage, I have been associated with many beautiful women, and I was never tempted to break my vows, and my wife never accused me of being unfaithful. If you have been the victim of jealous temptation, that is a sign that you are not in love with your partner.
I know that most people do not think about the consequences. Many people indulge in such activities and keep their secrets for a long time. Many cheat in one way or another and keep it a secret from their partners until someone else informs them. The result can be devastating.
Most people who could not bear the pain of being deceived took their lives by drinking slipper (a poisonous substance), jumping into a pool, or pursuing a course of revenge by killing their partners. However, some people are deceitful and do not get caught. But you need to have the courage to say no because the consequences of such an act can be devastating.
I have had some difficult times in my marriage, but I am grateful that I never forgot the vow I made to my wife. A year after I got married I went back to school to study for a higher degree and living my wife back at home. We planned that I return home every weekend, and it works well for us.
When in school, there were group projects we were doing where you had to pair two. I remember being associated with a beautiful girl, 5'2 tall, young, about 21, beautiful and gorgeous in her rich dress. I remember then calling her "Eji" the short form for Ejiro, a Nigerian Calabar.
During our team project, we got to know each other and started working together. She began to sit at the same desk next to me every day in class. Even when we had to change our classroom because of the lecture rotation, she would find me like a shot arrow. She would lean and whisper “Hey!” before curling up next to me. Even though I had my wedding ring on my finger, it seemed like it was not visible to her. I started having a kind of beat in my heart or do I call it a joy, to hear whenever she approached. I felt that God had sent an angel to test my faith in marriage.
Honestly, I enjoyed spending time with her. She was so beautiful, so kind, so interesting, so glamorous, and so attractive. I tell you the truth, marriage does not turn a man into an invincible Faith Bot. And believe it or not, it is after your marriage that you begin to see beautiful women when you are a man. Woe to the devil!
As time went on, we became so close that people began to think that I was dating her. Things like this came to mind one day when we were leaving the classroom, while we were filling out with other students, she made a kind of inviting sign and said;
"Hey, Fexo (that's what they called me back then at school) please can you come with me to my house to work on our assignment today?" She winked after saying this with a big smile. When I heard that my heart started beating very fast. You can imagine the tension and the ongoing battle within me at this point. Should I say yes or should I say no? I boldly and sadly said in a weak voice "I have to meet my brother who came to see me at school and he is waiting for me at home"
I have to admit that it was very painful, to be honest. But I have to keep my marriage vow, I need to stay 100% faithful to my wife even if she is not living with me at the time. But to say that there are no such occasions is a lie.
Thinking of it again, I thought about what was going on in my mind at the time. I saw an opportunity, and a kind of door opened for me to run to. I thought I was doing it, and it would be great. I knew that if I went through that door there would be no way out, no going back. We would be love birds at school and that would leave a sour taste in my relationship with my wife.
The same thing happens to people every day and the report is not always good to hear about. In such cases, we need to work on our minds and think about the consequences, and the effect they will have on our relationships with our partners. We should have the courage to defend the purity of marriage, and always remember to repay the love and affection we have for our partner.
When we make a choice, we need to stand by it and believe that it is right for us and those around us. What people don’t know is that at times this courage of ‘no’ can save a lot of relationships and marriages.
Resisting temptation or adultery can be more difficult than people think. It is difficult, but not impossible and this is what we need to remind ourselves. Helping others makes you stronger and builds your character. Adultery is one of these struggles that we all face. Even the strongest people out there face the temptation of adultery, but it is how we deal with such moments that matter. When such a situation arises, it is important to stay strong and keep your focus on what you want.
To protect yourself from such temptations, one of the ways you can work is to stay out of temptation by keeping yourself busy all the time with something important.
There is more to adultery than simple physical pleasure — more than just a passionate embrace or sexual encounter. It is an act that can shatter lives and destroy families and careers. A dangerous and vicious circle that puts an end to all moral and ethical values and brings about spiritual and physical death.
It is a selfish act that feeds on greed and lust. It is an act that changes the whole course of one’s life.
