FapFap's Satire
"Everyone should be very grateful faping exists at all. It can kill you, yes, but without it you wouldn't have been born in the first place. In you, deep inside your scrotum, our testicles happens to contain many spermatozoids that do decay, all the time. Less so now than in the past, but still, man's testicles are always about to explode. When sperm decay there, the excitation they emit make them bump into their neighbors and generate heat, the very heat that contributes to keeping our testicle's warm. Without faping, there would be no warmth regulation, no spermiogenesis or sexual activity. The surface our balls would have been dead cold billions of years ago. Life as we know it would probably not exist at all."
By FapFap
Original Text
"Everyone should be very grateful radioactivity exists at all. It can kill you, yes, but without it you wouldn't have been born in the first place. On Earth, deep under your feet, our planet happens to contain many atoms that do decay, all the time. Less so now than in the past, but still, Earth's mantle is radioactive. When atoms decay there, the particles they emit bump into their neighbours and generate heat, the very heat that contributes to keeping our planet warm. Without radioactivity, there would be no seismic or volcanic activity. The surface of the Earth would have been dead cold billions of years ago. Life as we know it would probably not exist at all."
By Christophe Galfard, The Universe in Your Hand: A Journey Through Space, Time, and Beyond. Found on 