It's normal to do some self evaluation at every point of one's life. That how you can be able to know if you're growing or making progress in all your endeavors. Reflecting on what we have done, what we are yet to do, what we are doing at the moment is a great way to discover areas that needs improvement. But there are moments where we feel like we're running on a treadmill, you know, putting out so much efforts but barely even getting anywhere, or so we feel.
No matter how much we think we we're working hard, the feelings of not doing enough might creep in. Sometimes, it might come from the pressures from others who want us to reach some heights we might not be able to get to at the moment. Or it can come from our very own selves, when we start using other people's growth as a yardstick for ours.
It's an all familiar feeling. Personally, there have been times where I looked back to everything I've done and feel like, nah, I'm not going anywhere with this. I remembered when I started a course on software development sometime last year and I at time, I was still very new to the whole thing, almost a novice. Meanwhile, had people in my class who were hotheads, they didn't need so much explanation to understand a concept. Tutors give projects to work and they always the first to finish. Honestly, it was mentally draining to always be the least active person in class. I admired those people who were active, I wanted to be like them. I was so keen in getting to that typical pro level developer that I didn't rate myself so much anymore.
My interests were only on what others were doing better than me. I read a documentation about a project I was given and understood, perfect. What about the other person that started without reading and got it right? They don't have two heads do they? I wanted to be like them so bad that even my own little progress seemed like a child's play. Remember the person running on a treadmill? Holding a water bottle while at it can be such a tough one. That's exactly how it feels comparing yourself to others when you feel you're not doing enough, it's like carrying an extra load.
The trap of measuring growth with productivity is so easy to fall into if one isn't careful. People always want to see results, they want to see what you've done. That's like the traditional way of measuring growth but what about the little steps that led to the big thing? Learning to appreciate myself for the little things I did became a turning point for me. I might not be able to do the greatest of things like other people, but yes, at least I'm not standing around doing nothing. The concept of slow and steady started to make so much sense. The people I was comparing myself to started from somewhere right? A building needs its foundation to be able to stand firm. I wouldn't want to be a pro while I skip the basics. So focusing on becoming better everyday instead of constantly draining my mental state thinking about what I can do more.
Life isn't just about doing more and becoming like the other person. It's a journey with different paths for everyone. Most people might get to their dream target faster, while others may take their time. No matter the category we find ourselves, we should make it goal to appreciate our little wins while striving to hit the main target, so we don't lose our foot obsessing what we haven't done yet.
Have you ever felt you're not doing enough? 
