“When we set aside a bit of energy to purposefully remain calm and relaxed every moment—rain, hail or shine—suddenly our life will shift from meaningless living to living with depth, warmth and cheerfulness.”
~ Sri Avenash
We all sometimes have days where we sit and ponder what we want our lives to look like, where we would like to see ourselves in year or five. Sometimes it can be hard to realise how far your life is now from the life that you want, but the only way that you'll get to where you want to be is by looking at where you are and how far you have to go before things resemble your dreams.
I've been doing some soul-searching over the last year and something that I found recently that surprised me is that everyone seems a lot busier than I would like life to be. They all have these big fandoos where they meet up with people every weekend and they go out to restaurants drinking or partying. They seem to enjoy that life but for me, it's entirely the opposite.
I would far rather sit quietly alone in a semi-empty coffee shop than having to converse with multiple people. In a previous post I wrote about having done a personality test and coming out as an INFJ. It rang true that being around hordes of people deplete my energy and leave me feeling flat. I don't like loud places as I'm really sensitive to noise and I'm also sensitive to sharp energy. What I mean by that is people that are bristling all the time and have no sense of calm about them. It drives me mad. I like peaceful surroundings and find that the best work I do is when I'm solitary and in a quiet environment.
Perhaps when I was younger I enjoyed the company of lots of people more, I was far more outgoing, but now, I will choose quiet and silence over busy and bustling any day. Perhaps it's my age, perhaps it's just that I've now acknowledged what works best with me.
I don't have a lot of friends so social functions are few and far between and I prefer it like that. I've always wanted to have a simple life with few complications and to just be able to live it. I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone anymore and I'm not going to push myself to extremes for the sake of others either. The only thing that I need to do is what I am comfortable with and feel able and willing to do.
I have come to peace with the fact that I can't be everything to everyone all the time and if that's what I want to do then am I living for myself or am I living to reach the expectations of others? I fell into that trap once before and it didn't end so well. Now, I think I know myself better and have found that calm surroundings are what I need.
My room-mate says I hibernate a lot and he's right. That's how I refuel. I'd rather spend a weekend at home with good music and food, soft blankets and sitting outside in the sunshine than going to the beach to play volleyball or joining a team of people on a fundraising day. That's just me. It's taken me a long time to find me and now that I know what I really want in life ... a simple life, that's what I'm aiming for and I'm perfectly happy with it.
The image is mine