Your thoughts are no use to me, as I sit at the kitchen table sobbing, tired and anxious. Tired of fighting the constant nit combing battle, terrified that Wilf's threat to run away was genuine and too agoraphobic to know what the fuck I would do if it was.
Your thoughts are no use to me as I receive a letter to say I'm no longer entitled to PIP - a 'benefit' I have relied on for the past year of mental struggle - a struggle I am by no means clear of.
Your thoughts mean nothing to us as we pile on a bus with the weeks shopping or 'fix' Wilf's cracked bedroom window with duct tape.
Your thoughts are just that. Fleeting moments, considering our existence. They develop no further than that, disappearing as the next Facebook post appears.
I'm tired of hearing 'no news is good news and you look great on Facebook.' How awfully convenient for you and your lack of support.
Well I hate to strip you of your platform for denial but this is me, this is us. I am not happy, we are struggling, we need help, we can not do this alone.
I have so much love and gratitude for the gorgeous people in the community who's thoughts have developed into practical help; help with uniform, help with school runs, help with school trips or financial advice or cheery conversations or boxes of lentils and liquorice. All the amazing women watching over us as we try to hold it together, offering a crutch when they recognise a potential fall, or a hand after a stumble. The ones who send cards (or even texts) full of lovely words, stories, questions and answers. Those who help us to 'make it happen' whether it be a doula course, a camp, a school trip, lunch or a weekend off. Those who pick us up at the bus stop when it's pouring and want a real answer when they ask how we are.
There are some amazing people, who's thoughts have developed into genuinely life saving help.
But to those who see a Facebook post and are therefore 'thinking of us' for a fleeting moment, satisfied that we are alive without their help; you needn't bother, your thoughts are no use to me.
