The colour of your eyes reminds me of the abyss, how I got consumed, burning in your excesses.
Lost in the passion, lost in the heat, it was the bright blue flame of ecstasy.
The fire was all consuming, burning wildly through the sheets and I blame myself for getting lost in a fantasy.
I blame myself for falling too deep, for holding on to promises that you'd never keep.
I ask myself, was I a fool to believe, that you'd stay by my side and never leave, that you wouldn't take me for granted and treat me like I never mattered?.
Whenever I looked into your brown eyes I felt at peace.
Never thought they could hide the lies that laid beneath.
Maybe it was obvious, but I was too blind to notice, because my love for you made me a fool.
It be clouded my judgement and altered my reasoning.
Made me an idiot, a moron, a simpleton, a slave willing to do your bidding.
You were a drug I was addicted to, literally cause you got me high off your presence and plunged me deeper into my misery with your absence.
It's really bitter missing someone who's still in existence but yet refuses to grace you with their presence.
Seeing those people you made memories with slowly become memories, gradually slipping away as time passes.
Funny how when you're missing someone, you assume that they're not thinking of you, that you've easily been forgotten and faded from their thoughts whereas,your mind becomes your own personal torture chamber.
Every idle moment is possessed with your thoughts of them and everything that happens reminds you of them.
They're like a song stuck in your head, a nice one....but a sad one actually.
Is this going to be our case?.
Have we met to part, you and I or we've parted to meet yet again?.
Do you feel this pain I feel when I hear your name and you hear mine?.
That emptiness, that longing, that need.....
Do you still yearn for me as I for you?.
Do you still want me as I want you?.
I remember how I'd get lost in the skies just looking into your eyes, I could swear that I've seen the moon shine in them, loved the way they sparkled like they held a thousand stars.
The sound of your laughter was music to my ears.
Your scent was the incense to my altar, cleansing my mind, body and soul, carrying me off to paradise.
When our eyes met, a thousand sparks erupted in my heart.
When you touched me,electricity flowed through my veins.
Every moment with you was powerful and charged, you brightened up my gloomy days and let me walk on clouds, but you had no right to do that.....
You had no right to pull me out of the darkness if you were only going to push me right back into it.
You shouldn't have let me see the light if you were only going to take my sight.
You said you left out of fright but I don't believe that for a second, not when I know your might.
Now it seems you've found another.
As you pass by, side by side, arms locked together, you don't acknowledge me like I was some phantom, a ghost from your past, a dark spirit sent to haunt you.
Fortunately, there's no time for that cause in this state of mind, probably,I might have but I have other things to do love and the world doesn't revolve around you even though mine did for a time too long.
Unfortunately, you have me at a crossroad, stuck somewhere between holding on and letting go and most times, I can't help but wonder;
Do you miss me, did you love me or was I a prototype to pass the time while you waited for the real thing?.
Were the words you said to me that had me drifting in outer space just a mantra you said to the others before me?.
You punched a hole through my heart, you didn't have the guts to look me in the eye as you tore me apart.
Would that have hurt any less, I wonder.
I've stopped bleeding now because though I want you.....I know I don't need you.
Though I love you.....I loathe you even more.
Though it seems like I could die from the pain.....it's not impossible to live without you.
I know it's not easy.....but it'll be less harder if I try.
I'll survive and I'll let you go eventually, slowly....but surely.
Time heals all wounds so they say but deep down, we all know some wounds never heal.
They turn to scabs, waiting to be picked at so they could bleed again but I won't let it fester.
I'll erase you from my memory and purge you from my system..... completely.
