Sex and teens - It still gives me goosebumps. You know that for the most part - no matter how fabulous your relationship is with your kids - this subject is going to really, really challenge you. And the teen mentality is, "we know it all, you don't understand." So first I think back to my own childhood and surprisingly enough my pretty conservative parents seemed very comfortable "getting me the book." It was given to me about a year before I menstruated and it was cute and graphic and explained the body and how it works and it covered everything. I took a couple of questions to my Dad, the schoolteacher, and he was pretty cool and direct. End of conversation. I had my first gyn appointment at age 18 - again, no fanfare - just a chance to ask questions and have a first exam. My parents simply trusted me.
Cut to today's sexual environment.- Kid's are "doing it" as early as age 10 and 11 - HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???
- Now HIV - not just STD's are the big worry
- Herpes is rampant - and once you get it - it's a lifelong disease
- Birth control - still seems to be a "missing link" for a number of these kids - "You can't get pregnant the first time, right??
- Is abstinence even a real concept?
And I have to admit - my 23 year old daughter is still far more worried about pregnancy than any of the diseases I just mentioned. I can still remember thinking when she hit high school - "nothing I am saying to her is penetrating (poor choice of words!!). She's going to do it - the first time - without protection - and without talking to me. I want to save her - and I don't think she'll let me. And let's be clear -
-I am all for "waiting until you are mature; until it has true meaning and commitment behind it."
-Even with a condom - you can still catch herpes and other infections - a good reason to wait
-Even using barriers - you can still have an "accident and get pregnant" - a good reason to wait
-Sex and love should not be confused.
-If they want to do it - and you forbid them - they'll find a way.
I would not want to be a teen today. The pressures are huge "to do it" to show your "into the guy" or to "showcase commitment" regardless of age. And the looming threats of HIV, STD's is really scary to us parents - is it scary enough to them??. And teens are unaware of or hide their sexaul past history, so chances are high that they'll continue to share these diseases. And teens seem to have confused sex with maturity. I am so glad one "teen experience" in my household is over. And my son seems to have a better grasp of the issues AND he also seems to really respect his girlfriend and the implications of intimacy and sex.. So I have a little less concern - but - just a little.
Are you raising teens and coping with "teen sex'?? Does this subject scare the young mom out there?? Do you know a good approach to teen sex dialogue??