If there's one thing I've learnt in over thirty years of marriage is "Don't tell the missus about a plan; just present her with it."
Now, before you all start jumping up and down with accusations of controlling behaviour, let me explain.
A couple of weeks ago, she piped up out of the blue: "I've always wanted to go to Austria!" first I've heard of it? I thought. I suspect the wife believes she will bump into Julie Andrews singing: ♫ ♪ "Do-Re-Mi" ♬ ♩on some mountainside. 😉🤣
True, the missus has always loved the film Sound of Music, but she's never mentioned going before. Anyway, the lovely husband that I am, I nipped to a couple of travel agents at the weekend and picked up some brochures. Mostly, they seem to do river cruises which look like the best way to see a lot of beautiful scenery. Still, as you can imagine, these things are not cheap. Prices seem to range from £1,400 to £2K per person but given I wasn't planning to go until mid to late 2024, I figured that would give me enough time to sell a kidney, the dog and possibly my car to pay for it.
I gave the wife the brochures, explained my idea of timescales and said: "Have a look through to get a rough idea. We can't go to the travel agent for about three weeks, we've got too much on at the moment, but at least you'll know what you're looking for." Now at one of the travel shops they offered me a brochure with a cruise that started by flying to Prague, then a boat down into Austria and finishing in Munich, sounds great! Three countries in one holiday, boom! However, [normally] the wife would have said something like, "Ooh no, that sounds like too much." so I turned the brochure down. Of course, you guessed it; when I mentioned it to her, she said: "Ooh, that might be good?" 🤦♂️
As the day rolled into Sunday, I could see the cracks start to appear in my suggestion: "It's very expensive." yes, well, it's not exactly Lanzarote is it? It's not like hordes of beachgoers are likely to head there. "Hmm? Maybe we should just go for a week?" will that be long enough to see places? It seems to me everything is pretty spread out. My favourite one had me in hysterics "And another thing. We've never been on a boat before. We might not like all that up and down." Up and down? What on earth is she talking about? "Bubb, it's on a river; there's no up and down; we're not going to sea; it's just gliding along! I said. 😱
The death knell came this morning: "We'll have to find a dog hotel for Charlie." Hotel? HOTEL!? You mean kennels, surely? That was a wrong move on the chessboard. "We're not putting him in kennels! You wouldn't want him in kennels! Thinking about it, maybe we should look at a four-day city break then; maybe one of the Twins should be able to have him?" I suspect by the time I get home from work tonight, I'll be lucky if we're going on a day trip? Looks like I've got my work cut out talking her around for a trip she actually asked for in the first place! 🤣