A month or so ago I bit the bullet and invested in a new mobile phone. A Samsung S26 Ultra, to be precise. The one fear holding me back was 'Banking'. Ten years ago, if you'd asked me if I used my phone for making payments, I would have probably given you a massive lecture on how dumb that was: "Are you stupid? What if your phone gets nicked?" Fast forward to 2026, and the inability to pay for things with my phone is akin to having an arm cut off!
Given that my S21 was now considered EOL (End Of Life), I'd been psyching myself up to upgrade. I'd copied everything of value off and made sure Samsung Backup was up to date. It didn't help that people told me transferring my banking and credit card apps would be a nightmare, but in the end, I bit the bullet and signed up for a new contract and phone. As it turned out, it wasn't as painful as I thought; in fact, it was so easy I've forgotten how I did it. I think I literally just signed in, had an authorisation notice, and that was it?
Some time later
My old S21 sat on my desk for a good few weeks. I'd factory reset it, so I needed to get rid of it. Everyone has a pawnbroker or a business that buys, umm? Things. There are loads in the UK; most are frequented by people looking to sell their dad's drill to pay for their next fix, if you know what I mean?
"Hi there, do you buy phones?" I said. The guy behind the counter, with a fading black eye and a cut on top of his head, replied: "Yes, mate." I placed my S21 on the counter, and the assistant started the expected 'checks' to make sure everything was OK. "Do you mind if I take the screen protector off?" he said. I didn't even know it had one on it. He proceeded to work his way through the settings. "How much are you looking for?" he asked. Now I'd looked on Google and the general consensus was about £75.00 buy price. I'm in sales, so I know how to play the game. "How much you offereing?" I said. Apparently, it all depended on the size. I got it into my head it was a 256GB model. "It's 128GB, mate. You're looking at £80.00," he said. Hmm? That is five quid more than I was expecting. "Oh, I was hoping for a little bit more, to be honest." I replied, trying to look as desperate and crestfallen as possible while wearing a Lacoste top.
I wasn't sure lines like "I'm trying to buy a headstone for my mum's grave" would work with Captain Splithead. I told him I was hoping for a hundred quid, and suddenly he turned into that tradesman we all know, but in reverse. He sucked in air over his remaining teeth: "Ooh na mate, I can't do a hundred."
I could have maybe squeezed another fiver out of him, but a guy with glazed eyes started getting interested in the fact I might be leaving the shop with a few readies in my pocket. "OK, £80 will be fine." I reluctantly said.
The cash register
After taking ages to scan, check, and plug my phone into his interrogating software, he suddenly moves like a gazelle! Returning to the counter with a fistful of twenty-pound notes. "Sign here, mate," he said, thrusting a piece of paper and a pen towards me. Now, dear reader. I openly admit, I didn't read the form. I also freely admit I told him I didn't want a copy. This might have been the problem?
Sleight of hand
"Twenty, forty, sixty and twenty make eighty." he said. But I noticed he still had another twenty in his hand. Now I don't know if he saw that I saw but... "Oh, I took too much from the till!" and promptly folded it up in his fingers and slipped it in his pocket.
Well, that was odd?
Shop assistants only take the exact amount from the till.
Given there are CCTV cameras, I'd expect all money to be in plain sight?
It wasn't until I got in my car I thought "Hang on, that was odd?"
Maybe it was legit? Maybe he had taken too much from the till? I was hardly going to go back to the shop and ask someone who looked like they were just getting over a kicking. I'd got more than I was expecting; I turned the key and drove off.
My actual name is Pete. This is why I have the username dickturpin
You can also find me on Social Media
| https://mastodon.org.uk/@dick_turpin | |
| https://castlecannon.house/profile/dick_turpin | |
| https://www.facebook.com/peter.cannon3 |
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
License explained: Examples
Create your license: Choose Yours
FOSS, Linux & Creative Commons Advocate.
"Don’t dim your light to fit in with the shadows — shine boldly. The right people will warm to your glow, and the rest were never meant to see you clearly. And when I speak, don’t read what you think I meant; read what I wrote — because my truth isn’t up for interpretation."