When you think of neighbours, your immediate image is probably the houses to the left and right of your property, but what about those that back onto you? Are they also your neighbours?
The family that lives on the other side of the fence at the top of my garden moved in probably about ten years ago; as with most new homeowners, they seemed fine at first, and we never really heard a peep out of them and then COVID and the lockdown hit and tbh the husband more than anything has become a nightmare! Although, I do wonder if it's just me being a miserable old fart.
There's a piece of dead ground between my neighbour (on the right) and the properties opposite that back onto us. There used to be a large tree there until, during lockdown, Gobby (I'll call him Gobby from now on) started cutting the tree down. I wouldn't mind, but it's not even on his property! I asked him what he thought he was doing and if he had permission from the council, to which he said he had and that he was cutting it down because it was blocking his sunlight. The thing is, he never gets sunlight! Or at least not til around 5 pm because the sun moves in an ark but in front of his house, not the back (I.e. it shines into my garden \o/ ). He cut it down to a stump and then proceeded pretty much every week to go and attack the stump with drills, saws and even, at one point, fire! So yet again, I spoke to him "Mate, you'll never do it! The tap root must be at least 30 feet down. That was a big tree." For once, he seemed to accept defeat and has never touched it again, although the dead ground looks even worse now.
He has an annoying voice. Maybe it's not that annoying, and I have a 'thing' about him, but even the missus agrees it grates on your nerves, but that's not the worst. When he's out in his garden, he never shuts up! Have you heard that saying, "He never comes up for air"? He drones on and on. I've said to the wife: "You know, I'd love to ask him if he works and if he does, do they speak to him at all because it seems to me when he gets home he has to talk incessantly because nobody speaks to him all day!"
He's been working on his bomb site of a garden for months now, with lots of noise and activity, although we've been nosy neighbours and looked out the back bedroom window and can't see any progress. This weekend was no different, but there was one incident that caught my attention.
Over dinner, I said to the missus:
I can't believe what I heard from him today. I think he's laying paving slabs. Most blokes, even though it's a PITA because you're moving them twice, would bring all the paving slabs in and stack them up ready for laying; however, this arsehole was making his wife take a wheelbarrow out the front, load a slab I suspect on her own and then push said slab into the garden while Gobby sat on his arse clutching a trowel. "COME ON! I'VE BEEN WAITING FIVE MINUTES FOR THAT SLAB!" he bellowed. Words fail me; I would never even think about my wife lifting a paving slab, let alone ask her to. In fact, if I saw her trying, she knows I'd give her the biggest bollocking she'd ever had in her life.
Yesterday was a beautiful day with glorious sunshine. Unfortunately, Gobby did another of his antics that got on my nerves: He started playing music in the garden at four hundred decibels. 馃檳
