or I will not eat ze bugs

I’ve only ever had one job and it didn’t last long. It was 1979, I was 16, in school and studying German for the Leaving Certificate. A relative of my best friend organised a job for us as Zimmermädchen

My father outside our bookshop circa 1967 As I have no doubt said before, since I never tire of repeating myself, in my childhood home we operated according to the Little Red Hen principle, to wit: Those

To celebrate my generosity, my munificence and being 7 years on the blockchain, I'm giving 50 Hive to the first person to correctly describe, in 15 words or less, what happened in the picture below. What?

What the bejaysus are we doing here? Where did we come from? And where the hell do we go? These are the questions that have occupied my mind for as long as I can remember. I went to a Catholic school,

Survive in the wilderness? Me? But of course! I was a girl guide once you know. I suppose it’d depend on how long I had to survive though, and whether I’d just wandered into the wilderness with only my

I could brag and say I do everything well, but I’m far too modest for that. Suffice it to say that there is little I have turned my hand to in life at which I have not excelled. Well, ok, I never really

Would I take up arms and kill a stranger I have no beef with because some politician ordered me to? Would I heck! I’d leave that to the men!:) I’m one of those conspiracy nutters who believe that the same

It is a truth universally acknowledged that in any apocalypse the most important item to have to hand is toilet roll, and let me tell you I have that one covered! Numbers two and three are a bit of a food

When he was about 11 years old and I was around 14, my brother opened a sweet shop in the front hall of our house. We lived in a recently developed local authority housing scheme with little infrastructure

Recently found records from the dark ages of the 21st century, known as 'The Great Hysteria,' evince frequent state manipulation of mass consciousness, to gain the compliance of populations with agendas

Ladies and gentlemen, what you see before you is not a broken-down old banger but an entirely unmodified vintage, early '60s classic with all original working parts. As is evident, my bodywork is exceptionally

Outside the wind is howling, the temperature is a cool 9 degrees and the rain is pelting down, but inside THE DOME it's like the Bahamas. The mercury is hitting 25 Celcius and the plants love it. Well,

A warning to politicians to watch their backs was issued today by The People's Front of Eurasia formerly the Eurasian People's Front, following the death of 26 heads of state by ingestion of rotten fish

Without good manners, human society becomes intolerable and impossible." George Bernard Shaw What, in the name of civilisation, has happened to people's manners? And when I say manners, I don’t mean

'Ok class, a quick history quiz'. 'John, what happened on the Ides of March?' 'Julius Caesar's assassination sir.' 'Tom, 1815?' 'Waterloo sir.' 'And Bill, what occurred on the Night Of The Long Knives?'

.I live in a former quarrying area and these slates are a fine example of the local sense of humour   I am a lady of impeccable manners. It's the way I was brought up. My father was a dreadfully rude

Dedicated to Sam Melia, in prison for thoughtcrime

My face has really let me down! When I look in the mirror I see my granny staring back at me. My body on the other hand has given me many years of sterling service, risen to every task with aplomb, and

I’ve forever been obsessed with fitness, having a lifelong fear of fat and a determination not to acquire that middle-aged dumpling shape. To that end, I have always engaged in some sort of daily exercise